† Perfect Anathema †

♥ LEAVING ♥

2008-05-08T02:20:00.000-07:00

hEY!!
I don't know how long I will not update this page but I'm switching to LiveJournal for now.
I'd like to try LJ and see if it's going to be a better blog.

On the other hand, I will not delete this account and I'd probably still keep this and still customize this blog. I've already had a lot of stuff going on here so there's no point in completely changing blogs.

♥ xxkimi starr

[Proceed to My New Live Journal Blog]

♥ Photo Manipulation ♥

2008-05-05T03:33:00.000-07:00

Okay... so I'm an amateur photographer...

But I've always wanted to experiment on photomanipulation. Unfortunately, most of the time I get all too hopeless to finish them cuz they suck and they look really awful (I think).
So here's an attempt. For the first time, I've finished one.

It's really simple but worth trying I guess.

"The Past Haunts"
Stock info : DA Submission

† FC Barcelona v Manchester United †

2008-04-29T13:50:00.000-07:00

My PC's still fucked up and it's 5am but I really need to blog this to at least relieve me of the tension inside my head and my heart is aching more than getting it broken cuz of a guy. This is one of those constant heartbreaks that kill me every year.

Everyone who know me well can tell just how much I love soccer - I wouldn't trade it for any other game in the world, not even F1. I've loved two teams so much that I can never ever choose between the two. One if my German Bayern Munich and the other, my Spanish FC Barcelona. It's been a while since I last blogged about soccer but this game just crushed me completely that I can't sleep right now. If I could only fly to Europe to watch all their games I would, and if I had the money, I will never regret spending a fortune for them.

[FC Barca fans!!]

I just watched the 2nd of the two games between FC Barca and Manchester United a few hours earlier. It was a live broadcast at ESPN-Star. I always wake up at around 2am to catch their live games and I've missed school many times just to see them play. This is how devoted I am to soccer that I traveled home from my dorm back in my college days.

This time around, I was excited. The first game between the two was 0-0 playing at Camp Nou giving Man Utd. no advantage of an away goal (an away goal is a goal scored by a team playing at their opponents home town. It has more value than a goal scored at home. This is applied only at certain games and never on local leagues). Barca played on maximum defense last week knowing that they will have the advantage today in Old Trafford.

The game was completely on favor to Barca like last week but I have to admit they were not on their best. They had all chances to finish off Manchester. A draw would result to their win because of the away goals' rule. All they need is to score a goal or at least draw. Barca did good but not best. They managed to keep the ball in their possession more than Manchester did but they never really did keep Van Der Saar busy at his goal making not much attempts to hit a goal on target.

[Iniesta in blue, FC Barca keeping the ball from Hargreaves, Man Utd]

[Constant clash between Barca defender Zambrotta and Man Utd's C. Ronaldo]

The worst part?? 14 minutes after the 1st half began, Scholes of Manchester Utd. hit the first and only score of the night. It was horrific. At first I thought there was still some way that Barcelona could win, afterall, it was only 14 minutes. The game went on as it is. No more goals and not much power until the final minutes. It really sucks. Thierry Henry was put on play for Barca 30 minutes before stoppage time while Bojan (the great handsome 17 year old) was put in on the 71st minute.

Nothing happened...

The frustrating part of this is that Barca is a great team and they had so many chances to put the ball in. Puyol was defending quite good even if Marquez was missing... but the offense just wasn't good enough. Lionel Messi was dangerous but didn't get much help from the rest. Iniesta, Deco and Xavi were just... there... it's really sad but I don't want to blame them...

[Lionel Messi, FC Barcelona]

Another thing that touched me more was during the final minutes of stoppage time (after Evra was taken out in a stretcher and the game was back on play), Valdez, my 2nd favorite goal keeper (next to Munich's Oliver Kahn whom I named my dog after), went to their half to take a chance and hit the ball as well. I feel so much for such actions... I felt more... mushy!! Tears poured harder from my eyes and I started sobbing louder.

[El conquistador de mi corazon mi amor!! ♥ Victor Valdez, GK of Barca...]

I just feel awful.

I'm not a big fan of English football despite that almost all the people that I know who love football is and English fan, I'm definitely not. I admire Liverpool though.

The only thing that I pray for now is that Liverpool wins against Chelsea tomorrow so they would go to the finals on May 21 in Moscow and that they crush Manchester United dead.
(Sorry Man Utd fans...)

Final
1 - 0
Machester United - FC Barcelona
[photos: Yahoo News/Reuters]

xxkimi©Starr

† TROJAN VIRUS + PIRACY †

2008-04-28T03:27:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've been down for a few days now because so many things have happened and yeah, I haven't blogged much here and I sort of regret them in a way. Anyway, there are more updates over my multiply blog [here].

So, to go on with the story...

I've had two photo shoots recently, the latest being not yet processed and thankfully the first one was done. I will release it soon. Then last Friday, I was dying to get a crack for Cake Mania. Yeah, sue me if you can for being an internet pirate. So now loyalists, be happy cuz karma got me!! My PC got infected with a virus, a trojan most likely... And the PC started crashing and wouldn't connect to the internet. I could still use my programs though but having no connection with my browsers makes it useless... (uh, cuz I talk in the web, post stuff and all...)

A friend helped me out and we tried everything from restoring my computer system up to installing Spybot and other stuff to get rid of that stupid glitch but to no avail. We started working on it Saturday midnight until I started bugging him early that Sunday until that evening. The last resort was reformatting my PC.

So, I didn't have any CD until I found my old Windows XP... 2001... Hmm...
due to desperation I booted my PC with my dear friend's help and *poof* suddenly I know how to do it after spending so much on paying someone to do such an easy task for me. I almost felt so stupid but there... it paid off...

But still, there was a downside to it!!

The software was so Jurassic that I couldn't install my Photoshop CS3!!! x_X Now I got depressed and all... Then so much for downloading piracy and shit, I went out to buy myself Windows XP and MS Office only to find out that it was a DVD, not a CD and I didn't have a DVD ROM so I felt completely idiotic again.

Now you may ask why bother with struggling with this shit. Softwares are not cheap. I'm not rich. Obviously, we need this stuff unless you still send your messages through snail mail waiting for the postman to arrive every whatever day.

...if only softwares can be cheaper, then I'd be more happy.

♥ Hana Kimi ♥

2008-04-16T19:50:00.000-07:00

I've been watching Hana Kimi [the Japanese version] for quite a while now and I pretty much liked it more than the Taiwanese version despite the two networks who are airing them keep up the battle between which is better...

Anyway, I really like two guys in the series... Aside from the nice story they're the reasons I keep watching. Hahahah... They're so cute and funny. I've already read their profiles and they're just great. I find Japanese stuff really cool. I'm not a super anime fan, I've never even cosplayed but I always loved watching them especially those that built my childhood memories.

Now I love the TV Series that they air here. I find their sense of humor really different from the usual kinds of funny antics that I see in Korean, Mandarin and local shows.

I'm soon going to post their photos on my [Flickr]!! I just super <3>

"Nakatsu" - Ikuta Toma

"Kagurazaka" - Shirota Yuu

xxkimi©starr

♥ I'm A MySpace Whore ♥

2008-04-13T23:49:00.000-07:00

so add me!!

[myspace.com/eiahmiki]

LOL

♥ Photo Day Set 3 Release ♥

2008-04-10T23:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, I've already posted the final part of the Photo Day Set @ Mae's...
There isn't really any theme in it, just fashion and come whatever. So three sets all released but they were all taken in December 2007.

view full set here to view higher resolution photos

[matapobre]
[set 1]
[set 2]
[set 3]"Matapobre"

2008 © xxkimi photography

♥ New Flickr Account ♥

2008-04-06T20:03:00.000-07:00

I just had my Flickr account. I've already had that account for like a year now but I barely opened it cuz I have a photo limit and I couldn't make as many sets as I wanted. I left the account and hadn't reopened it until yesterday.

I looked at the Go Pro option and thought that $24/year is pretty cheap considering that I have unlimited options. I really wanted to reopen my flickr account.

My DeviantArt gallery contains most of my chosen photos and does not include snap shots and photos of me and my friends and my dogs or anything not artistis. In other words, no photos without sense.

Then, my Multiply is my means of connecting to people. I don't have a lot of contacts there but it's the site I use for all my photos, my blog, thoughts, projects and basically everything. I don't really find Myspace and Friendster that helpful when it comes to that.

Finally... Flickr. This site would primarily be my gallery. I find it easier to organize and categorize now. Unlike multiply that has only one photo page and all the albums there are organized randomly or how they were uploaded, my Flickr is categorized by year and the kind of photos or art in each collection or set.

So there, Multiply - for friends with lotsa love.

Flickr is for every one!

[view my Flickr now!]

Note: If you guys have an account there, do add me up!

♥♥xxkimi©starr

♥ Products of Depression & Anxiety ♥

2008-03-27T06:54:00.000-07:00

Hmmm... it's not such a bad thing.

Nevermind.

Anyway, yesterday I kinda freaked out and I fought with both Jess and Bobby which was really mean of me. I didn't have any good reason but I really freaked out. Being at home is taking its toll. I'm used to being out the house with my friends and always doing something and being here at home doing the same things over and over again is kinda creepy.

To kill time, I'm finishing my website and I plan to finish on Sunday so I could officially re-launch it on Monday. Hmm... Just a few more days. I think it's gonna be fine. I could now remove the annoying "Under Construction" line on the home page. I'm no longer using Weebly to create my site. Since my PC has very low memory and I cannot install either Fireworks or Dreamweaver, I'm making my site the super old school way - pure HTML and basic CSS.

There, there... some updates.

Also... I'm obsessing over Ikuta Toma. So hot!!
I saw him in Hana Kimi (yeah, Kimi... but no, there's no Kimi Character there).
Back to the topic, I was watching the series and he just like made me go...
whoa!! Hahahahahah...

Photos courtesy of Tomalover on Flicker

xxkimi©starr

† ENVY †

2008-03-22T04:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, this is a very old set. I've taken it together with the other photos for my Photography Class Portfolio. Theme for these four pics is "Move Around A Subject" so yeah, I didn't move anything here for any of these shots...

>.<

Now, ENVY is killing me.

So many things are in my head right now - graduation, goodbye friends, hello world and blah blah blah bullshit. But then there are also so many plans going on...

Then there goes envy invading my mind. Let's just say there are some photographer as young (old) as me who go around and do the things that I would love to do myself. Yes, it's complete envy but it's not the type of envy that makes me want to grind them or anything. I just feel sort of deprived.

I feel so unfortunate in a way... I mean, I can do a lot of things but I just don't have some of the things that I need to get me through. I think that this is also the result of staying too much at home without getting out. Oh the vacation boredom. Wait, I have no vacation anymore! I'm a graduate!! Darn...

Here are some frustrations that are killing me right now:

I can't even afford to buy an SLR
I don't have friends that would go out with me on photoshoots whenever wherever - me and my very chosen friends who conduct shoots with me have very tight schedules etc..
I'm always broke!!
My PC's RAM is so small that I can't even install Dreamweaver. T_T

Now, those are just four... sub-frustrations not included...

GAAAHHHHH...

Right now, I just want to get a good job, invest on a good DSLR camera, find a good continuous schedule for photoshoots with my friends and new people included, meet more people, and have the money to travel and just snap that shutter.

For a more detailed Frustration List - [click here]

♥♥xxkimi©Starr

† No More Blondie †

2008-03-07T04:06:00.000-08:00

gaaaaaaaah!!

I was supposed to blog this here two days ago but I did it in my Multiply so you can check it out there if you want...

Anyway...

I dyed my hair blond, but not very blond, somewhat like blond brown whatever... and I did that two months ago. Even before I could post a decent shot of me with that, I already had to dye it a darker shade cuz I have a job interview. Guess what, I need to look formal. Oh crap, who would've thought.

So there there...

Here's me... huhu!
I can't even say now that it's my NEW HAIR cuz before I could, it's already OLD!!

I like... haven't even enjoyed this yet!! x_X

And here's me now...

And why is it that I look like a guy whenever I have dark hair!?

Poke Me

2008-02-16T06:11:00.000-08:00

Fat | Ugly | Broke | Unwanted | Rejected

Damn.

Right now I'm just so totally depressed.
Pano ba namang hindi... ah basta!! Mababaw lang pero nakakalungkot. It's killing me.

I haven't even graduated yet but so many things are already in my head - doubts, fears, envy, uncertainty, obligations... they're all on my shoulders and I just don't know where to start. The employment bullshit has been bothering me for months now. I know that I have the skills blah blah blah but there are so many other things that keep me from believing myself.

Yeah, damn it - right now I just lost all my confidence and I reckon that the only reason I am so arrogant and outspoken is to hide these insecurities that I have inside. The reason that I dress up like I do, very much different from the typical in this "conservative" country , is to make my own identity and be not associated with the common. Then, now, I just lost it.

I want to be a photographer, a professional one. This afternoon my photography prof just invited me for a workshop. Just like the other invites and opportunities (like working for Ftv), I lied and said I'd come but silently turning the offer down. I don't even have a fucking SLR, how could I even bother to come. I told my aunt that and said there's nothing we could do. The next comment was from my mom saying "I'm trying to make a career that only the rich could do".

Okay. I just fell face down and broke my neck... UNliterally.

Why do things here just have to be so fucking expensive that I can't even afford a camera!??

So there, there... I was thinking. Somehow she was right.

In fact, I can be a photographer if I really want right after I graduate. I can live on my own, live the life that most of them do - trials and errors while going through so much before actually making it. But then I have to consider ALL THE OBLIGATIONS THAT I HAVE.

so there... there... just stare at the ceiling for a while and think...

♥ Paving My Way ♥

2008-02-09T18:44:00.000-08:00

Fully Alive >flyleaf<

Two more weeks of school and it's conceptually over. I'd be sitting back waiting for thee days before graduation to pass then I'd be tossing my toga and be crying with my friends marking an end of a milestone.

It sort of scares me in a way - graduation and entering the big world is something very different. Fe and I have been talking about getting a job and stuff and it's pretty scary especially for kids like us who give a lot of effort on our career. Getting into the Advertising Industry is quite hard but ironically, my prof in photography gave me more hope.

At first, I thought I wouldn't like her. But as usual, I always end up liking the person I used to despise the most. So turns out, I'm liking my photography professor a lot. She was checking out my photos and complimented that I had a career in advertising and I was like WOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Then I told her, I don't have an SLR yet so she said I could start off small and get big through time. She said I could start as a photographer's assistant and stuff like that. At first, it sort of crushed my pride but then I thought she's right. I mean, not everyone is given equal chances to be what they want.

It's cool to hear that other people landed a big job title right after graduation or got this big fame out of blah blah blah and the sudden big thing just bulged on their front door footsteps. Unfortunately, not all people get those chances especially if you're just one of those average kids like me.

I have to accept the fact that I'm still more of average rather than really special. It sucks but I know I'm nothing extra special to get extra chances so I have to start off small and leave my dreams for a while and accept that reality is indeed very different from my illusions (that suddenly I'm given a Creative Director offer!)

If I have to start off at scratch again like how I started in college and end up where I am right now, I'd do it. In college I started off a big loser neglected from the Accountancy Program and now I think I've got pretty great opportunities being in Marketing - being in the team for StratMark and PANA and getting the high grades in Advertising and stuff... who knows it might not take long before I become what I want to be...

Time to step on my pride and pave my way from dirt and shit to be what I've always dreamed of...

♥ Banner Ads... LOL ♥

2008-02-01T06:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, since I can't post these ads on my DLSU blog,
here they are on my official blog:

Three Chimneys Catering Services
for Web Design Client

Hot Topic
NOTE This is not an official Hot Topic Banner Ad
This only my project for Internet Marketing

LameO's I think.
But cheerios though...
0_o

† Metamorphic Dreams †

2008-01-30T05:59:00.000-08:00

Gaaahhhh...

Okay, I'm still not feeling that "okay". I've blogged something about this thing going on about me... (see blog). I feel like I'm still in dream world. I'm not really sure why I feel like this - as if so many things are going on inside my head. Hmm... perhaps there are many things going on in my brain and I find so many pretty pebbles stuck on the sediments inside my cerebellum.

Let's say it goes like this - graduation is really near. It's like in two months (so yeah, it's not really near x_X) and I feel like the world ends there. I mean, welcome reality and here I am trying to make something out of myself aside from the usual things that I do for school. That turns me a little uptight.

I know, I know... I'm not supposed to be thinking about these things yet but at the same time it gets me really excited too!

I never really dreamed of being a model. I mean, I don't have the perfect skin, the perfect bod, the perfect smile or even the perfect hair but sometimes I thought I wish I could be but cross that out.

What I want is to be a photographer as we all know.

I was watching the Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency Series just this evening and I was rather impressed by the photographs taken. That's the reason I enjoy watching modeling series on TV. I don't really mind my "modeling frustration" but it's the photographs that drives me mad.

I want an SLR and suddenly my aunt said that I should've told them that before I bought the compact cam that I have now.

WTF!?

That drove me partially nuts. I did tell them that but they said... we can buy that after you graduate.

Now I got more frustrated but the Sony DSC-W35 is working well with me. So I was rethinking the plans that I have when I graduate. I think I'm going to skip my plan to take up my Masteral Degree in DLSU-Taft some three years from now. Yeah, I made up my mind - I'm going to take up Photography in UP.

No joke! I'm fucking serious.

So... maybe in three years time or so I'd go to UP though I don't plan to actually graduate there. I mean, I'm fine being an undergrad for as long as I have taken the basic courses that I need. I simply want to be good in photography.

Obviously, I'm really going to pursue a career in photography and advertising. No, this will not be a frustration and this dream will not be sediments in my brain that will soon become metamorphic dreams after realizing it will not come true. No, this photography and advertising thing is not like a frustrated love story that I usually go through like those metamorphic granites in my heart engraved with boys' names together with the hurt and curses that went along with them.

Maybe I'm just too excited to pursue my dreams that they become frustrations.

Yyyep... that's it!!

So, to cut things short - three years! That my personal limit before a dream becomes metamorphic. Three years.... and probably more.

† Respect Copyrights Please! †

2008-01-27T08:20:00.000-08:00

Original Blog - here

So yeah, I've written about this and have posted this on my multiply like I usually do but this time around I won't be repeating the same post there. I'm just gonna tell a story.

I was really pissed off last saturday in our photography class. We passed our assignments - 13 kinds of compositions and then our prof would choose the best shots to be placed in our portfolios. I was one of the first ten to get looked at so I was behind my prof most of the time.

Later on, as she browsed through my other classmate's works, something surprised me big time. A shot that I took came out of her submissions and was even chosen to be placed in her portfolio. At first, it felt like a big joke but then I felt really horrible.

I mean, first I wasn't asked for any permission. Note, I copyright all my work. Then she claimed it as hers and got credit for that! Come one!! That sucks! Call me selfish or whatever but people using something yours without your knowledge is something horrible. Many may think that it's just a simple photograph but I put a lot of dedication and love in my photos. They mean so much to me.

Uggghhh!! Anyway, I hope she gets to read my blog and have the decency to remove my photo. Consider that she's one of my good friends, she totally disappointed me.

xxkimi

† I Hate Being Sick †

2008-01-20T20:55:00.000-08:00

Ooookay...

I'm so sick!! Yeah, I've been sick since yesterday and it sucks. I missed my OJT today so it's sad. Wahaha... don't ask why. Darn... our OJT in Hyundai will soon end. Aww I'm sure gonna miss the days. And speaking of "End" we're graduating so that makes me even more... sad.

Anyway... with nothing to do:

To view more, check out my DA - click here.

On the other hand, I hate hate hate being sick and confined at home. I really feel like I can't do anything. Even putting signatures on my photos becomes a task, with my head all groggy and moving around.

Hell, some people are also big liars. Yeah, I confronted someone who talks shit about me and he even had the guts to deny everything and make me look bad. Oh come on. He even said that I don't have the right to judge him... duh! His life revolves in alcohol and drugs and he talks more shit than ever. I don't need to know everything about him. I judge him as he tells me his shit. Period.

He said he never called me a bitch. As if he wouldn't...

I'm used to being called a bitch and I can't blame them for doing so. Hell do I care about what people think of me. The important thing is that the people around me know and appreciate the things I do despite this...

LOL
hahaha....

Oh well, he's a waste of time. I just shared the experience... =))

Then then then...

Two nights ago I was playing detective. Man, me and I friends can create our own CSI team. Yep! No forensics. We do it, oldschool! All you need are fast eyes, good ears, and a very prolific way of researching.

Shettt.... finding out about this person just made me freak out! LOL

Oh well well...

MY hair is back to blond.
I bleached it so that when I put the brown color, it would look good but after bleaching it, I felt like I don't want to dye it brown anymore so I kept it this way for now. I'm going to see how my hair goes tomorrow at school. If it goes bad (and they say... *** is not gonna like that so bad!) I'll dye it brown. If it goes fine... then I'd die it before graduation.

NU HAIR, Bedhead:

xxkimi

† Getting Over †

2008-01-19T05:29:00.000-08:00

Maybe I'll just dream of you tonight
Deep into a distant where no one minds
Where everyone says they'll understand me
but I can't take it anymore
I can't even close my eyes.

Maybe I'll just dream of this tonight
Drivers taken to a land that no one finds
Where everyone says they'll understand me
A sleeping cancer never cured
I can't even close my eyes...

- FASPITCH

Again, my favorite lines - Life's a bitch so fuck the world.

Yes, true.

Ugh! The weather is driving me nuts again. I love the weather just like this, it brings out the tragedy in my being and I'm confined into my personal isolation despite being with my friends and I end up being over dramatic.

Melodrama... maybe.

Oh hell... I'll get over this. Soon? Maybe... or will I not?

Some things are just not meant to be. And I end up... in the place that no one finds, only I.

† Stop †

2008-01-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

I should stop living in this dream. It's just a mere fantasy that will never come to life.

But stopping is the hardest part...
knowing that nothing will ever be true and once I stop,

it's all gone

† It's Alright Kids... †

2008-01-12T18:54:00.000-08:00

Okay, my hard drive's memory is really... small. And I'm pretty pissed off cuz it's almost all used up!! No wonder my PC keeps crashing. HAhaha... Now I have two problems - new HD and additional RAM.

Ugh ugh ugh!!

Oh Sunday morning. What should I say?? There's nothing new and yesterday wasn't anything different or what. I'm still the same old desperate pathetic me. Oh yeah, I saw lots of EmoFucks in the mall cuz Slapshock was there. No offense alright, but you probably know what I mean about the broad definition of real music lovers, stylish and expressive kids, and the wannabees who simply go with the flow. So if you were caught in the "Ouch"-moment, you would probably fall under the wannabee category.

I was talking to Jess and I saw these bunch of kids and I said, "hey look, emofucks..."

Then he stared at me, "you dress up like them..."

It made me laugh hysterically.

I thought to myself, "oh yeah... I do." Then I said to him, "yeah... haha. I want to not because everybody's like that. I don't even have friends who dress up like me. Except for those new ones that I've met over the net."

"If you dislike them so much, why dress up like them?"

"I don't dress up like this because of them. I wear what I wear cuz I want to, not because my friends do or because anyone else do. I've done things cuz I love doing them. I've cut my hair, done my makeup like this, and do all this shit for years... even before those kids evolved into what they are now."

"Oh... okay."

Jess probably thinks I'm defensive. Well, I guess I am. I don't like being labeled and compared to them. I mean, those kids just love being called this and that and ugh! That makes them happy!? Anyway, I'm just being over-stereotypical and that makes me just like them. Hahaha... Oh well, nevermind.

Anyway, I have a heart for scene kids... so to make things clear - those that I dislike are the following:

1. Kids who come to gigs all dressed up in the "emo fashion" kind of thing but they're just there cuz a friend of their friends' friends was there.
2. Kids who come to gigs because... it's a gig! It's not the music, it's the scene.
3. Kids who look like a clone of the one sitting next to them (and take note, they make a line longer than that found in grocery stores).
4. Kids who suddenly change appearances - see that if the trend next year is kids with no hair, you'd see their heads shaven already. Bye bye so-called "emo lifestyle" and "wrist-cutting nights" (these are for wannabees gets?)...
5. Kids who love to criticize but don't even know their roots!! (see EmoFuck Part II).
6. Kids who don't even know their music.
and finally
7. Kids who listen to the "Emo Music" ONLY - why!? Cuz they've confined themselves in a narrowminded aspect. These are the children who think that if you're emo, you listen to emo; if you're metal, you listen to metal; and nothing follows.

Note, music is expression of self. It is not the thing that identifies you. You identify your music. If you listen to one genre and listen to another, it doesn't mean that you're a poser or a wannabee. It simply means that you know how to appreciate different genres.
I would like to expand this more in my next entry!

Hahahaha...

xxxkimi fucks up again!

Cheerios!!

for critiques, offensive shit and everything, email me at rak125jk@yahoo.com.ph

♥ I wish I could be... ♥

2008-01-12T07:36:00.000-08:00

I wish I could be so many things...

Yeah, for a while I've been really not myself and I'm sort of scaring myself.
Err.. school has just started and I'm bored to death. Really, really bored to death. We didn't do much. We had our exams today is two subjects, Sir Dwight wasn't around and perhaps never will be after his tragic accident - it'll take months before he recovers.

Then, all I could think of is nothing really cuz I'm so fucking bored and nothing crosses my mind. Even my spelling is so bad I have to backspace + retype. Stupid. Arrg!! Some things are just killing me... x_X

You are everything I ever wanted,
All the things I dreamed of.
But all of that remains in my head
Because I know that in reality,
We can never be.

Yeah I know all these illusions
are just mine - it's just me.
You were never in touch with my heart
All the lies for me to see,
trust is we can never be.

♥ Happy Birthday Mom & Aunt! ♥

2008-01-07T16:55:00.000-08:00

Wow!! They're old.. hahaha... time flies!

It's my mom and my aunt's 54th birthday today. They're twins but look very differently NOW. They're so different now, my mom's much bigger and my aunt is much thinner. Hehehe.. But I love them both, they're my two moms.

♥ ♥

Aww yeah time flies. I was browsing around and found my other blogs. I was like "wow!" I have so many other blogs back then. I think I've made more than 10 blogs but now I'm just maintaining this one. I'm still thinking if I'm going to keep my blog in LJ but probably not. Hmm.. but maybe I will, I like that site... I was thinking that maybe I'll just put photos there and the stories here.

Puede... puede...

One more thing, I was searching random stuff in Yahoo like my name and my friend's names to see what would come out. Then I searched my photographer alias which I used so much in the past - eiahmiki. It was funny cuz the auto-suggest in Yahoo finished the whole "eiahmiki" and my sites came out. Hahaha, who would've thought that I used that name too much that it appeared in Yahoo's auto-suggest already. Now I'm thinking about using that again as much as I could but I've already put the "xxkimi" signature more often now.

Oh well...

=]

You Got Me... ††

2008-01-06T06:19:00.000-08:00

I just related myself...

and he was right but I denied it.

I was just rough...

Wilkommen Zwei tausend und achtGluckliches neues Jahr!

2008-01-01T19:08:00.000-08:00

Oh!! I haven't updated yesterday but anyway, HAPPY NU YEAR!!

Our new year at home was quite simple. To be really honest, I somehow envied some of my friends and other people that I know who go home with their super extended family line, meeting up with a lot of relatives and stuff. But then, I'm still happy celebrating with my bro, aunt and my mom. I also spent most of the night with Jess.

-- me and my crazy bro! --

♥ ♥ LOVE ♥ ♥

BBQ and Beer!! We had some BBQ going on and a huge slab of chicken. Not much to cook, I even forgot to fry the siomai!! And it's still in the fridge right now, approximately two days after I made them. Now they're all hard and... dry.

Hmm.. I didn't get drunk though. A can and half was enough (or else my mom would freak out). She doesn't like me drinking when she's around.

Fireworks and firecrackers!!

I had a good time scaring my dogs but I realized that they're learning to cope up with it. hehehehe...

One thing that I also noticed was that there were few fireworks and firecrackers lit up around our place. Unlike the past years, it was more quiet so it was like, a little sad for me. It didn't matter much though, I don't often mingle with neighbors since I frankly don't like most of them. I was thinking, next year I'd have nice fireworks in the sky instead of firecrackers. I'm going to buy my brother some cool pyrotechs that would also satisfy the lens of my camera - hopefully an SLR by that time.

Oh well, that's it!
And for starters, visit my updated DA site!! I've got a subscription!! Woohoooo!!

Love xxKIMI

† More Fear †

2007-12-30T06:43:00.000-08:00

As I have blogged in my multiply...

Right now, I am nothing but scared.

The new year is fast approaching and so is my graduation and all. Right now I'm really scared of the real world. I have so many dreams that I am just so scared that I wouldn't be what I have always wanted to be.

It's really consuming... being a perfectionist doesn't help. It adds up to the pressure.

Oh well...

† Insanity †

2007-12-27T19:49:00.000-08:00

You are everything I ever wanted…

and I am hopelessly believing.

You take my breath away

Now I’m constantly dreaming.

Your smile is enough to complete my day

You don't even have to speak...

Yes, this is my obsession.

Fear not, fear not this freak.

† As Usual, Back to Nothing †

2007-12-24T06:03:00.000-08:00

As usual...

Bored.

Hmmm... tomorrow's Christmas but like the past few years, I haven't felt its spirit. I haven't even wrapped my presents for them. Ugh. I don't really know why. Maybe it's just because I'm so tired, stressed out and fucked up with my life, and maybe cuz I'm broke... I don't know.

Well, I've finished putting my signatures on some photos... Here's some for you.
Click the link above to get to my multiply account and view them all.

Click here to view entire album

♥ Final Collge Christmas Party ♥

2007-12-23T08:20:00.000-08:00

This makes me really wanna cry...

Yesterday, December 22 2007, we had our final Christmas party as college students at Ray's house.

It was great even if a few weren't there.

I went there with Fe and Jenie and met up with Pimi at Jollibee Zapote. We waited for a long while and the street kids were dying to get piso from us! It was funny cuz I started taking photos of them and they instantly posed. Hmmm... No wonder Master Tracky loves taking their shots. I enjoyed it too though.

So when we got over Ray's house, there were lots of food. My contribution was all worth it! I ate like three times and Mac even said I should pay 500 for that! hahahah... Can you blame me, they taste great! It started that afternoon then we had games too! I handled the games and it was all funny teaming up "love teams" especially Senen and Emjae. The funny bone game was the best... "the guy's chin on the girl's nose" while they were already in a romantic position!! I will soon upload everything in my multiply account.

Of course, that evening we had some drinks and I gave my cp to Fe, knowing I might start texting someone that I shouldn't and end up really mortified. I already typed something and if I ever sent that, it's the end of my career. Hahahahah...

I can't explain everything. The feeling was great, I sang all night. I never wanted that night to end. I just want to keep everything that way forever. Hopefully when we graduate, things would still be the same. I know many of us won't get to come anymore. I'm scared I might not be able to come either especially if I leave the country.

I really love my friends... and I'm getting really mushy right now.
They're the guys that accepted everything that I am. And I'm so thankful that they are my friends.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot.
There was also a commotion. Renz' girlfriend freaked out and got more mad when I reenacted her acts. Hahaha... I didn't know that she was still there and she saw everything that I did. Hehe.. Well, as for us she shouldn't have acted like that cuz we're not her friends. At least have the decency to be polite, right? Sorry Renz, but you're GF is just not the kind of girl that I would like for you... But then I support my dear Renz cuz it's love but as for the girl... Hahahahhahahah... sue me!

There there...
We went home quite early. We left at about 9pm and by 10pm I was already here.

Ohhhh..................

MKAZeenko rocks... as always

† Again... Welcome to Deathdom †

2007-12-20T19:16:00.000-08:00

I'm here again in Hyundai Alabang, consuming yet another eight hours for my OJT Practicum. I shouldn't be bored but I find myself completely wanting to go home and desperate to accomplish what I really came here for.

Everything is just so boring. There aren't much clients. Ms. Celle isn't here. So many other people aren't here and I feel so alone without Mhy with Jenie stuck on the other side of the building. I really just want to finish this day and meet my mom at the mall.

It feels really awkward. Everything feels so different and as usual I'm fucking exagerating everything since I really feel awful over this shit. And it sucks big time.

Why!? Why!?????????????????????????????

Depression sinks in again. Welcome Deathdom.

† The Beginning and End of Nothing †

2007-12-20T00:01:00.000-08:00

Ugh!! It's really annoying when you see so many premonitions that just end up wrong.

Sometimes we see and/or feel too many things around us that we create thoughts about it, thinking that it's the beginning or end of something. Well, at least me with my inevitable highly and exagerated imagination, what I usually think was something turns out to be nothing.

I hate myself for having such a prolific mind. They say it's something positive and something to be proud of. Many people even see it as something that adds up to my overwhelming arrogance (which turns out to be true) but there is a huge setback.

This is the complete and perfect backfire of the mind that never stops thinking...

I tend to invent thoughts in my head... and it sucks!!

I tend to dream wide awake and eventually integrate it with reality like I've always said and noticed in the past. Unfortunately, I always catch myself off guard and turn off my safety ending up in my normal depressed being. Or is it normal??

In the end I find myself more of paranoid than happy with the thoughts that I have created, consumed with the filth of unrealistic dreams that crash down to truth and turns out to be unreachable.

And this is where my pain starts again and ends nowhere, it just subsides...

♥ Hyundai Christmas Party... =] ♥

2007-12-17T01:18:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday was Hyundai Alabang's Xmas party and we (the OJT's) were invited. At first, I wasn't sure if we were going since Jen wasn't coming. But then, Mhyrine and Vyel were going so I was too. I just needed at least one to be there with me.

So there, I got there pretty late cuz the traffic was so bad and slow. I came from GMA, from Cathy's place. I was her makeup artist for the evening, she was a vampire!! =] It was pretty fun working with her, her face was really pretty and I enjoyed putting on makeup on her. Her party was at the hotel right beside us so I hitched a ride with her.

The party at Hyundai was pretty cool! We weren't directly involved in the stuff that they did but the sales agents made us feel that we belong. The costume contest was really funny and the skit that the Sales Department played was more funny! I really enjoyed the night.

One more great part was the beer!! I didn't expect that Vyel and Mhy were good drinkers. Hmmm... I'm looking forward to drinking with them again. We didn't really feel that the time was running fast and the next thing I know it was 12!

Good thing, Sir Max - the Asst. Gen. Manager, was really nice to offer a ride so he and Kuya Nonoy drove me home. I really felt awkward cuz they had to drive back to LP where they both live but I'm thankful cuz I'd be riding home drunk, all alone and prone to so much crap if ever no one took me home..

Arg ARg... ^^

That was it... =]]

vhyel | kimi | mhy

me so mmmmmmmmmmeeeeeeee

the mummy kuya mar'j

ate mavic | ate rose | ate sherille

ate sherille | Mr. Tan | Don Tan | ??

Sir Max | Kimi | Vhyel

♥ Why? ♥

2007-12-11T02:50:00.000-08:00

You can't lose what you never had...

And you can love two people at the same time but never at the same degree (yeah it's a fucking text message so don't tell me that I wrote something unoriginal. I just did and I'm not claiming that these lines are mine...) but then, you can never be sure that the other one is actually loving you or are you really loving two people or are you just completely into another person?

Okay, it's complicated.

But you don't need to understand.

It just got into my mind...

EmoFuck Part II - The Story of the Rocker Wannabee inside the Bus

2007-12-02T03:45:00.000-08:00

Our way home was pretty easy. We just rode a tryk up to 7eleven (just say "sa labasan lang") and rode a jeep to Alabang. Then, of course, from Alabang it was easy. We rode a jeep to Zapote and a bus home. Hmmm, I never thought it was so fast! LOL. Fe and I were taken by Ray up to Zapote and from there on we were on our own. We took a bus and slept. I woke up and Fe was about to go down, well of course she did soon after I opened my eyes.

The next things were both funny and annoying.

I was putting on the iPod when I heard these bunch of losers sitting behind me talking. There were like five of them, all girls. Little sluts in other words. One of them was really loud and perhaps the biggest ignorant rocker wannabee that I've came across so far.

Rocker Wannabee #01 "Tanong mo kung emo xa!" - "Ask her if she's emo!"

...of course she was referring to me cuz I was the only person in that bus wearing something scene.

Rocker Wannabee #02 "Ha? Bakit!?" - "Huh? Why?"

RW #01 "Basta tanong mo! Kasi, tingnan mo, pareho sapatos namin pero AKO PUNK! EH XA EMO?" - "Just ask her! Cuz, look, we have the same shoes but I'M PUNK! IS SHE EMO?"

...at this very point I've already formulated my retort if ever they do ask me. Ignorant little slut labeling herself PUNK! I don't give a fuck about the shoes. I have boots so if she wants me chucks, she can eat it so she'd be the only one wearing it!

Rocker Wannabee #03 #04 #05 - "Wala naman ginagawa sayo eh. Sira toh!" - "She's not doing anything to you! Crazy!"

RW #01 "Ah basta tanong mo xa!" - "Oh just ask her!"

RW #02 "Eh hayaan mo na!" - "Just let her go!"

RW #01 "Ano, tanungin mo na nga! Kasi ako, kaya ko yan tanungin. Emo ka ba o Punks!?" - "Now what, just ask her! Cuz me, I have the guts to ask her. Are you emo or punks!?"

...okay, now I was pissed off. But at the same time I was a little entertained. She kept bragging that she was punk! I don't give a damn how you label yourself okay. In fact, I have friends who consider themselves Metal, Reggae, Punk, Emo, Rocker, whatever they want to call them and I can point some posers in them too and I don't care! All I give a damn about is this - if you're my friend and we get along about life and not just music, I don't really care what you listen to. As far as I'm concerned, we're friends. I won't impose my beliefs and my music to you. Now, if you want to label yourself, go ahead but SPARE ME. Shut the fuck up if you ought to label me.

So I turned on the iPod after listening to their conversation. They thought I couldn't hear them cuz I was listening to music. But I put the volume on low so I could still hear some of their shit. Even before Behind Crimson Eyes could finish the song, I heard them again. Of course, I turned the sounds off again. Hahahaha...

RW #01 "Ikaw ano ka ba?" - "You, what are you?"

RW #03 "Ha?" - "Huh?"

RW #01 "Emo or punk?"

RW #03 "Ah, emo ako." - "Oh, I'm emo."

RW #01 "Eh ikaw?" - "You?"

RW #04 "Punk."

RW #01 "Yeeesssss!!"

...yes!? Duh! The little wannabee found another wannabee and they call themselves Punks and they're happy cuz there's two of them and just one Emo girl in they're circle of friends. It was getting hilarious. I wanted to laugh. If you could just hear the way they talk you'd probably laugh too.

They sounded like kids who was playing wars and they were trying to get allies - the Emo side vs. the Punk side!

Hahahahhahaha... It was really stupid.

I covered my mouth. I was beginnning to really smile. I wanted to text Fe about it but I was too drunk to do it. Those sluts must be drunk too but I'm not as pathetic as they are when I'm drunk. Well, I'm not really drunk last night. Just too tired too I guess.

RW #01 "Oh, tanungin mo na nga dali!" - "Hey, ask her now, fast!"

RW #02 "Gaga" - "Stupid"

RW #01 "Dali na nga. Kasi ako, kaya ko tanungin yan!" - "Ask her now! Cuz me, I can really ask her!"

...she was becoming not just redundant but also lame. She kept saying that she can ask me and I was waiting for them to ask me. But she couldn't. She can't even tap my shoulder and say EMO to my face.

I wanted to turn around so bad and answer her pathetic question. I wanted to say, "I'm not emo, I'm not punk, I'm not anything you slut. I listen to whatever music I want, mostly post hardcore, hardcore and goth and a little metal. I also listen to some punk like the Offspring and the Ataris. That's why I don't label myself. I dress up like I do because I want to. I love to dress up and right now, I find this really cute! I've been weird even before the scene. I've dressed up as goth before and cut my hair since high school. I've slit my wrists since high school and I have no idea of the emoshit. Now spare me. You probably don't even know your roots."

That was a pretty long line for a tipsy girl.

Why didn't I say it to their face? If I did, I wouldn't be any different from them! I would just be another loser trying to justify myself! That's why i was waiting so bad that they ask me. Hahahaha... so I can say that! I thought about facing them several times in that last fifteen minutes of mine in the bus. (Yeah, it all happened in fifteen minutes I guess).

I've already clenched my fists and my neck wanted to turn to them so bad. I thought, I would say what I want and if they fuck me up, I'd hit them. I don't care if there's five of them. If I just get the chance to hit their throats, they're all going down. Haha... I won't go fight with them like a sissy pulling shirts and hair. I'd hit their throat, chest, eyes with my fist, not with open hands. Hitting the spot right between the collar bones (I forgot what it was called) would make them lose breath, if it's hard enough, they're probably faint.

But then, I won't waste my new pretty checkered anime skirt just for fighting over that...

Besides, I was prettier than them. Yes, pardon my arrogance!

As the bus stopped at Ronquillo, I went down. The Rocker Wannabee Slut Number One screamed "EMO". I smiled, rode the tryk and went home...

now who's the loser?

Is it me who knows what I am and can fairly justify my existence?
Or is it them, the girls playing the EMO vs. PUNK wars (now available in XBOX... nyahahahahahahha)

They just gave me a great idea for art. Soon to come!!

♥ I LAB POTTIE ♥

2007-12-02T03:40:00.000-08:00

uhm.... I love him!!

Weee!

PhotoCLASS + Holden BEERday

2007-12-02T03:38:00.000-08:00

I was from Laguna last night in Holden's birthday bash. Fe, and Jenie were with me too except for Lou who just couldn't get enough of her boyfriend (and I still don't really understand why). I mean, she said it was her parents but she told us before she made an excuse that she was actually meeting her beloved love to play some poker. Hmmm... Anyway, it was her choice and we couldn't change that. She knows my stand in topics like this and Lou knows very well what I think so let me not blog it cuz I'm mean. Hahaha...

Anyway...

We went to Laguna right after our Photography Class. I really liked what we did today although it was pretty technical and lecture-ish. Truth is, I found out a lot and now I know what some photography terms mean. In the beginning I was just experimenting with internet definitions or personal definitions (based on experience e.g. trial and error) but now I know! Yeaboi! It wasn't too technical though but the details were enough for me so far. I could manage the rest through self study.

Then... then...

Our professor there is Sir D. (yeah, let's just call him that) and he's pretty good. He's the assistant of another photographer and also a professor there, Sir N. They're both good and Sir N was great. I really want to be his apprentice! Hahaha.. No, seriously. I've heard about him before and I think that being his student would be pretty cool. They both make great pictures and I can say, they are really good!

Now, here's the catch. Sir D and Sir N, also known as D&N are both hot. For me, Sir N is hotter and for Fe, Sir D is hotter. They're like two different looks but both good looking. Get it? They weren't the masculine type with huge bodies and stuff. Obviously we don't like that. They were both slim, not thin; fashionistas; and just good looking. Sir N was fair skinned, and had really good facial features - his nose, his eyes... they were just so dreamboi material!

What more can you ask for in a professor!?

Here's what I can ask for - I HOPE THEY'RE NOT A COUPLE!

Sir N is gay... obviously. Cuz if he isn't, he definitely is effeminate. D&N were waiting for each other, N hitched on D's car, and the way they smiled! Oh my Gosh! It was really shocking.

I know, I also like gay men (I like girls too!!) so I wonder... nevermind. Hahahahahaha!

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Okay, so then after our fifteen minute mayhem over those two hotties, we went to Holden's place in San Pedro, Laguna.

We got wasted a little. Drunk a lot/little. Hahaha, I don't know. We ate a lot and talked a lot.
It was great bonding moments too. Unfortunately, some had to leave early, including Jenie. It was pretty sad. There were few of us left there.

Oh yeah, we took some yucky photos. I don't know if I'd post them, I'd ask them first.
It was actually funny shots of "kissing scenes" but there were no real kisses involved. Just pure laugh trips.
Fe and I had our LesboLove and I love those shots!!

Note, I don't like Fe more than a friend, okay!? Hahahahaha.... so don't bother messaging me, asking if I like her. No I don't. She's like Thyne, my friend now in Oman. She's my kissing partner. Hahahaha so fucking sue me. But Fe is not as crazy as that and she won't dare kiss a girl. She's got... control? Hahahah, I don't know!

The thing about Fe is that she knows how to jive and we usually have the same trip.

Hmmm.. later that evening we were still there and plainly talking and singing. Honestly I was bored until I saw Kuya Nap came. He loved my socks! Hahaha, he's the guy with the dreadlocks.

Then... nothing much happened more.

At nine, I decided that we go home all of a sudden when it was me pursuading them to go home tomorrow (which is technically today).

And yeah, I pierced my ear again! weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!

The Rebellion Fiasco - God Bless the Philippines

2007-11-29T18:53:00.000-08:00

Nothing happened...

again.

Yesterday, November 29 2007, Sen. Trillanes set out another attempt to bring down the administration as he took over the Manila Peninsula. I didn't know much of the details since I was in school and was only updated thru constant text messages of someone watching the whole thing for me (on TV).

I was very much hopeful at first that something would happen.
I thought that this was the end of our pathetic government who cover us with obvious lies that cannot be justified at all. In then end, it turns out to be another failed attempt as he was walked out of the place in cuffs with former VP Guingona and Gen. Danilo Lim.

Our nation is very passive.

No one cares and even if a lot wants a change, no one dares. I praise Sen. Trillanes for his bravery that even if he knew he might fail, he still tried. I hate myself for not being able to do anything either.

We can all do something.

We can make a difference even in little things. I know some people studying at my school, some are even my classmates, who just care about making their money. That's what the Filipinos are all about - making their own money at all costs. Bitches of the century. They say that they think like that because life is hard. Life sucks here because of people like them - passive, greedy ones.

If only we can start at ourselves by making little changes, then maybe our country wouldn't be so bad.

God Bless the Philippines

♥ My New Site for Internet Marketing ♥

2007-11-26T18:43:00.000-08:00

Yeahboi!!

Here's my basic website as a project for my itnernet marketing.
Okay, I know it's really simple but it's only a project for our subject and I'm not a computer science major so hope it's interesting for you.

Anyway, I find this site - Weebly - really nice and I'd probably be editing my stuff here including my official NoRemorse SiteList.

I'd also be having my official website for my services in freelance photography and graphic designing!!

So for the mean time,
here's my project:

NoRemorse - UnOFFICIAL

† Maybe This Is Why I Work Too Hard... †

2007-11-26T02:40:00.001-08:00

Maybe I'm just never good enough...

It really sucks when you work really hard for something and no one appreciates it or when the only person that you expect to give a damn just wouldn't. It really, really sucks. Oh shit, here I go again with the "emo" crap and please spare me the criticism. I just want to brag.

So okay, this is what happened...

I made this tarpaulin for my one of my mom's associations.
I spent some time for that and I really took it seriously being the first commissioned work that I got. I usually make tarpaulins and banners but they're usually school related so I do them all for free (except the printing of course).

So there, I showed it to her this morning and said it was fine.
After it got printed out in tarp, I didn't see a smile on her face neither did I see some satisfaction in her reaction. She even complained about the backdrop, that it wasn't visible.

It's always like that.

I show her my photographs and she just looks at it and barely says something.
It's really, really shitty.

I mean, I get a lot of criticisms so family is the least expected one to just not care especially when you're really close to them.

She always say negative stuff or just not bother at all (especially when she's on the internet, she barely notices me and trust me, she denies that she does. She'll even get mad when I insist that she didn't notice me which she actually didn't and couldn't even tell anything about what I said). I showed her my photos once and instead of commenting, she just said something - that the lighting was bad, the resolution was poor, that it was out of focus, why was it this or that and not this or that... can't she just accept it as she saw it!? Everything is wrong...

I am so wrong... all the time.

xxx

♥ Food Overload and Major Overtime ♥

2007-11-23T06:16:00.000-08:00

Ugh!!!!!

Today we handled a lot of cars and were asked to have some overtime... and we left Hyundai at like, 7pm. It obviously pretty late but... haha, but come on, overtime!? It sounds awkward to come from me but there you go...

Anyway, I enjoyed much of the day anyway, eating and eating. Right now my tummy is so huge!

On the other hand, I feel somewhat sad that I'm not able to continue doing my photos and editing and stuff since I'm too tired. As you can see, my blogs now are quite short... like this one - it ends right here.

LOL

Some Quiz About My Major

2007-11-19T08:36:00.000-08:00

I'll skip blogging about the PANA horror.

Here's some quiz that I got from Art's page. Hmmm... somewhat true for me. I didn't expect that Languages would go first on the list though. But it's true, I would love to learn some new foreign language.

I've been trying to learn German and their culture for quite a while now (maybe seven years or so) but I'm not that good yet since I don't put that much time on it yet. But anyway... here are the results:

WHAT MAJOR IS RIGHT FOR YOU?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

You should strongly consider majoring (or minoring) in a foreign language, especially French or Spanish as they have a greater use in today's world. But other languages could be useful to you as well, such as Chinese, Japanese, German, Italian, or many others. With a major in a foreign language you could teach, or work for a company as a translator or foreign correspondant.

It is possible that the best major for you is your 2nd, 3rd, or even 5th listed category, so be sure to consider ALL majors in your OTHER high scoring categories (below). You may score high in a category you didnt think you would--it is possible that a great major for you is something you once dismissed as not for you. The right major for you will be something 1) you love and enjoy and 2) are really great at it.

Consider adding a minor or double majoring to make yourself standout and to combine your interests. A minor in a foriegn language is useful for ANY major. Also, business or political science are great minors for a foreign language major. Please post your results in your myspace/blog/journal.

French/Spanish/OtherLanguage

100%

Accounting/Finance/Marketing

94%

Visual&PerformingArts

88%

English/Journalism/Comm

88%

Mathematics/Statistics

81%

HR/BusinessManagement

75%

Education/Counseling

75%

PoliticalScience/Philosophy

69%

Religion/Theology

63%

Physics/Engineering/Computer

56%

Psychology/Sociology

50%

History/Anthropology/LiberalArts

50%

Biology/Chemistry/Geology

38%

Nursing/AthleticTraining/Health

25%

♥ Who would've thought!? ♥

2007-11-15T01:13:00.000-08:00

Well, well, I'm here in the Marketing Department right now... typing my blog.

Hahaha... and taking a bite from my egg sandwich that I find that very appealing to the sign nor the palate.

------

and right now Llany is standing right beside me.

Hahahhaha...

OMG., I don't really know what to write right now. I just ate lunch. We're preparing for our PANA competition tomorrow. Oh wow, what a shock *sarcastic*

I find myself really bored right now that I can't even open my other accounts.

Oh man, and guess what I'm in the verge of getting... nevermind. Oh yeah, I can't just write that since I' m just trying to write cuz I'm fucking bored.

♥ I Don't Know... ♥

2007-11-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

I don't know how to love.

Over and out.

I know when a person is important to me.
I know that I love my family and my friends (and my pets) because I care so much about them.

But loving the opposite sex, I'm having a really hard time defining that.
I have a boyfriend. He's important. I don't want to lose him.
But it's not all that super sweet and all. I'm not the loving kind.
I mean, I'm not sweet or nice or tweetytums or whatever.

I know he's wondering if I love him for real.

Do I?

I don't know. I mean, if I say yes... what happens then?

It's killing me... and I hate this feeling.

♥ When It Just Starts To Kill Me ♥

2007-11-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

Wow, nothing new... really.

I started my OJT (On the-Job-Training) last Monday and it's pretty neat. Jenie and I have been there for three days and it was exhausting! I mean, I used to stay at my dorm but now I go home after my OJT and my classes. So that makes 4 hours of travel everyday including Saturdays.

I don't have regrets though.

Then yesterday, there was a mass last in Hyundai and Jenie and I had the "Reading" kind of thingie... Not really my thing but it was fine yet somewhat embarrassing.

I have another story that happened today but I'm too sleepy and I've been typing the wrong lines and letters over and over again and I've repeated several times just to finish this line. Okay, I'm fucking sleepy.

Goodnight.

xx

♥ I Hate People In Love ♥

2007-11-04T05:57:00.000-08:00

To begin with, NO OFFENSE.

Early this morning I was talking to a friend, or should I consider a "former friend"
and I couldn't help but argue with his love story.
I do this all the time especially when I talk to Lou whom we reckon as an old lady-ish kind of girl
(and would probably die with tradition).

Anyway, so this guy I was talking to was my ex-bf back in highschool.
I don't find talking to him as a big deal since we've been friends before
the relationship and we were friends after the breakup especially cuz we
belong to the same group of friends. Some two years ago, he was like chained by his
new girlfriend on the neck stopping him from coming with us to reunions and outings.
It was fucking annoying, I mean he's known us even before he knew that ugly lil girl.
We all didn't like that bitch. She all messed up with us including some of our guy
friends making threats and saying nasty words. I called her once and she was
completely unreasonable.
All she could say was "I'm a jealous person okay.That's it!"
So I was like "You're completely stupid and narrow minded. That's that."

That was on her face considering I'm one of her dreaded nightmares,
a boyfriend's lurking ex girlfriend.

Anyway...

My ex here, was wasting his life on her.
I mean, okay... It's the so-called LOVE with the capital "V" but this was what
I barely understand when they use the word (or feeling/emotion) to rationalize things but
only makes them worse and actually less rational or not at all.

He would tell us that his girlfriend wouldn't let him go out with us or do this
or do that. So as friends, we advice him to sometimes break the rules.
I mean, what the fuck is wrong with being with us? My friends are not even as mean or
as weird as I am. Consider them normal. The only thing was we aren't her friends.
But then my dear ex would reason out that it was his fault, that he started all the
shit and tension between them blah blah blah.

My friends and I just hated her more.

So there. He keeps on saying that it was love - that they love each other so
they understand each other. If they do, then why the hell would he still tell us all the shit!?
I mean, yeah he doesn't complain but he brags about the same conversation over and
over again. Things like that, I consider as a hidden message.

I know some people who are so in love. They let their world revolve around their
love interest and let themselves fall apart. I don't understand that.
They would keep saying that love is a sacrifice.
Yeah right, I think they take those lines too literally.

Well, this is my own definition of love:

Love means understanding who you really are and adjusting yourself for the better.
It doesn't mean that you force people to change for you or you completely
change yourself just to keep your love interest fucking interested in you.
Love does not choose. You love someone, you accept them as they are.
You don't go around bragging them to do what you want unless, of course,
they are slicing your throat with daggers.
Note, love is not commanding. It's free, damn it.
You don't invade your love interests' privacy or should they do that to you.
Well, you can let them do that considering that you both agreed on that
AND shut the hell up and don't brag that your bf/gf is messing with your mail when you gave him/her your fucking password.
Love means trust.
You don't go deleting their friends online just because you don't know them.
I mean, who the hell are you? God? (NOTE: Love is not commanding)
You don't read every message in their cellphones unless your girlfriend is me.

OMG!!
These people are killing each other and they say they love each other till death do them part.
Oh whatever.
The next thing I know these people would've been successful in life
but now they're pregnant and unmarried or smokes pot daily cuz of their destroyed love.
Some of them love too much they're dead.
Some just tried to die but didn't so ended up as an alcoholic who would brag his/her
story to me in parties (and I just want to stab them).
Some are normal but never ends complaining but would defend their partner when you give advice.

Gahhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

I mean...
If you consider your personal suicide as LOVE
shut the fuck up!

1. Don't complain
2. Don't brag
3. Don't cry
4. Don't get mad
5. Don't fucking tell me that you're breaking up but doesn't
6. Don't even bother telling me your love story...

people like that just make me sick.
I'd appreciate a story about a dead cat that you found in your backyard much more.

Now now,
I'm not generalizing here.
I admire people who are constructively in love.
The in-love people here are devastating and annoying...

Gets?

xx

♥ Updates on My Site ♥

2007-11-02T21:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, I really have lots of stuff to say but since
my brother is like a vulture waiting for me to get off the PC,
I'd post them tonight.

For the mean time, check out my new site where you can find all other info!
It's more updated than the former site (but still has the same address).
I used to use geocities as host site but then the data transfer was too low (since it was a free subscription) so I changed to tripod.

Anyhow...

just check it out at † No Remorse †

♥ I Don't Care. I Have Plans.

2007-10-27T09:22:00.000-07:00

People always see me in a negative light.
If compared to photography, I'm the exposed film -
could've been a good picture but now useless.

† They Hate Me. They Hate Me. COOL! †

I've noticed that people see me as a no good arrogant bitch.
They are always turned away by the way I speak and the things that I
talk about - especially when I'm in my own city.
It's pretty stupid but that's how it goes. Even my own classmates
back in high school don't even understand my lifestyle and see
me as something outrageous. They don't really appreciate or at least
just shut up about the way I dress up. In fact, like everybody else,
including my mom's officemates act like that.
Well, that is - here in my dearly beloved small city.

Well...
Of course, at first I was affected. It's annoying to hear things like
that especially from people I know!
Special mention my mom's officemates.

I talk a lot. I'm a loud mouth. I've been like that since I was a kid.
Then my mom noticed that they don't like being around me whenever I
come visit her in the Lab. At first, I was well offended.
But then, I came to think about it.
I don't go there to visit them. I'm visiting my mom.
Hence, I'm not telling my stories to them. I'm telling my mom.
It's not my fault if I seem more arrogant and boastful than the usual
if they cannot relate to what I'm talking about or if I'm talking as
if I'm so above them because it's not my fault that their kids
don't tell them the same things that I tell my mom. Duhh...
They probably won't react like that if they've heard of the topic.
Finally, I'm talking about real life - my life and what's going on around me.

The best thing about these - they always think it's a competition.
Bring it on. I'm not competing at all.
I'm just being the every-fucking, loudly-talking, and arrogant-smiling
bitch that will never stop doing what she does best -
unpretend (the word is definitely wrong, it is not in the dictionary. I made it up.)

† I Have Plans You Shitheads †

I'm very thankful for all the great people around me who had
both supported and fucked me off in the course of 20 years.
I'm so thankful for my family and my friends and the undying hand of God
which is constantly there despite the mischievousness of the prodigal daughter.

Things are beginning to unfold and my plans are happening now.
I mean, I don't really have thee master plan but things are going great
even if there are certain ups and downs every now and then
(like the unexpected internship in Hyundai. It's not a big company like Honda
but it's alright. It just crushed my ego a little cuz I wanted to go
too far. Turns out, I was put down to begin small. Humility my love).
In fact, I should be happy about it cuz the internship was instant
and the environment is just great.

I come to think about all these things again like I always do.
Everything is just great.
My degree is the best!! I love what I do. I love who I'm with.

I love how things are happening.

So no, I'm not getting married.
I'm not pregnant.
I'm not doing drugs.
I'm not an alcoholic anymore.
I still smoke a lot.
I passed my Philosophy class.
I had 4.0 (a perfect grade in DLSU) in Ethics.
Same with Techniques in Print and Media.

I have plans.
So, you dumbasses out there who have been waiting
for me to break down, I always do so it's normal.
And whatever happens, life goes on and I will still do what I have to.
If I have a baby and you all think it's my end, it's not.
I'd even blog about it.

For the record,
I'm so freaking happy because of my existence!

Speaking of plans...
More photoshoots to come.
One will be with Mae and Eca on December.
Another will be by the end of this month with Jette.

Warning: This is a symptom of pre-twentieth birthday celebrants.

xxx

♥ Dorm Farewell

2007-10-26T09:52:00.000-07:00

I feel sad...

After three long years of living alone and being independent,
I finally have to leave my beloved dorm where all the magic happens.

Yes, all the magic.

Today, my mom and I went there to pack up and tomorrow we're going to get
my things and finally leave. Oh, I feel so attached to the place.
I mean, it's been my second house. In fact, I spent more time there than I
actually do at home. It's heartbreaking.

My dorm isn't not like the house dorm or what.
It's a unit. I'm alone. I have my own fridge, my own stove, my own everything.
I don't share it with anyone neither do I have eat meals with anyone
so I find my dorm my haven for isolation.

Now I'm back to my ever beloved room...

xx

♥ Photoday @ DLSU-D

2007-10-24T23:51:00.000-07:00

This was taken October 23, 2007 outside the school.
It was pretty cool taking pics and all with some great photographers.
I met one in the DA, one through a friend, and the other through the previous two.
Oh, networking!!

Anyway, to view enlarged pics,
view my album at
MULTIPLY
or
DeviantART

KIRK ALBUM:
MULTIPLY
DEVIANTART

RAM ALBUM:
MULTIPLY
DEVIANTART

TRACKY ALBUM:
MULTIPLY
DEVIANTART

The Masters of Photography

People here and there

♥ Life Bitched Around Again

2007-10-22T03:43:00.000-07:00

Raped again and my brain is so used up
I keep on thinking about thoughts that I shouldn't
be thinking of in the first place.

Right now I just don't know what to think of.
I wonder if it's just my plain stupidity or what...

Friend #02
"So, what do you want in a guy?"

Friend #01
"Uhm... understanding, tolerates my tantrums... simply
someone who will understand me for who I am."

Friend #02
"How about you?"

Varsity
"Uhm... one who would take care of me, chinita..."

and so the bullshit went on.

Rocker
"Let's just admit who our crushes are in our Block section!!"

everyone looked at one another and found each other smiling
stupid if you ask me but that's how it goes.

Friend #02
"Alright. Why don't we try!"

Rocker
"I like Cute Chubby Girl!"

Friend #01
"Really!?"

Rocker
"Yeah!! I know I have a girlfriend but it's just a crush.
Right?"

Friend #02
"Yeah, just a crush.
How about you!?"

so now they're looking...

Friend #01
"Me!? Why don't we go the other way around.
Who is your crush!?"

no answer

Friend #01
"Varsity"

Friend #02 & Rocker
"Who!? Who?"

Friend #01
"You've heard didn't you?"

Varsity
"Yeah."

Rocker
"So... you?"

Varsity
"Friend #02."

Friend #02
"Oh."

Friend #01 stays smiling
Wow, she just said she likes him and he says he likes the other...
until...

Friend #02
"Varsity."

Everyone lives up to their own personal agenda.
Never expect people to be nice because they're your friends.
They also have their own lives, remember?

Friend #01 holds nothing against Friend #02.
And Friend #01 just lied about that.

I come to think about it, some things should be kept secret to
prevent them from getting worse. I've done that so much that
I felt stupid and looked stupid. But no one noticed that. All along
I've been the bitch, the shit and the fuckhead.

Just get over it.
Life's like that.
Rapes me everytime.

She could've just shut up.
But I couldn't tell her.
Afterall, it's just a crush and I'm just selfish.

♥ xxkimi photography

2007-10-20T19:14:00.001-07:00

Stranded II - Lonely No More

Where It Always Ends

Ask No Questions

Shower My Purple

She Will Tell You A Story

Childish Innocence

All Rights Reserved © Kimi Patiño aka eiahmiki - xxkimi photography arts
eiahmiki.deviantart.com | noremorse.tk | chimericalkimi.multiply.com | xxkimi.sheezyart.com

No picture or any part of these pictures may be reproduced in any manner such as printing it, using it in blogs, websites, page backgrounds and other uses without the written permission from the photographer.
For permission concerns, contact me by email : xkcpatino@yahoo.com

♥ In Love Again

2007-10-20T18:51:00.000-07:00

Love has never been this great...

No, I'm not talking about being in love with a person.
I simply find myself completely in love again with something
that is just great... my passion.
All of a sudden I feel so glad everytime I think about photography.
I'm not always referring to my works but to the other stuff
that I also see that is so filled with emotions, expression and passion.

When I think about music, it is also my passion.
I don't make my own music but I really love listening to it.
I've always wanted a band since I was a kid. But it seems like it doesn't like me.
I've formed a band but I was even too busy to make it happen.

Photography has been my long time hobby since I was like ten when
I got my first camera. I've taken pictures of basically everything that I
find cute or eye catching or whatever. Now I was given a chance to fulfill it.
I don't have an SLR. I relied on a 2-Megapixel camera. borrowed cameras.
I'm about to buy a better cam today. My budget is only P10,000
so it wouldn't be those hightechie stuff. But I'm still hopeful that
this time around I'd be able to own a cam that would capture a crisp
sunset and a bumblee bee that isn't really blurred.

Everything is hopeful!
I could be optimistic every once in a while...

♥ Life's Not Just A Bitch... Life Just Raped Me

2007-10-19T04:34:00.000-07:00

Obviously right now, I'm not in a good mood.

I'm pissed off with so many things and they just seem to happen
over and over again. Oh crap, I'm so sick of so many things. And don't worry,
I'm doing my best to keep my head afloat and not completely sink into
the fucking depression that's already has my neck.

Being here at home is a lot different than what it was a few years ago.
I have to admit that it's more peaceful and quiet. There's more bonding and all.
But there are still times that I get completely fucked up here at home.
I really have to move out.

I am the ultimate shock absorber here and it's not easy.
I'm so tired of it. I just want to close my eyes and wakeup as if things
were never that way.

I just want to sleep... and wakeup undone.
My life rapes me everyday and I'm completely used up...

♥ Okay I'm A Little Fine Now †

2007-10-17T01:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, I guess I'm fine. Well at least I'm feeling any negative spirits for now.
That is, except this morning I really had a bad wakeup call.
My brother has been a little fucked up with school and isn't doing anything right.
I'm preparing my knuckles now so I could smash his face a little.

Ugh!
We've done everything to keep him on track but sometimes
he just couldn't get a grasp of reality and thinks everything is a game.
He's 12 freaking years old and he acts like he's 7 or 8.
It's frustrating for my part. I mean, I have to look after him most of the time
and when he does this, it sucks cuz I couldn't do anything and he just won't listen.

**Anyway**

Yesterday, we were at school for our OJT seminar.
We're going to try out in several companies. I'm pretty excited and I really mean
excited!! We're about to graduate so at the same time I feel bad again.

Damn.

But then, it's pretty cool knowing that soon all these hard work will pay off.

^^
cheerios!!

♥ Life's A Bitch ††

2007-10-15T09:19:00.000-07:00

Crap...

Life's a whore.

Yeah I get it, I'm doing that "emo" shit again. Just please before you read this, don't even try to tell me I'm fucking "emo" cuz it's a fad so I'm not cuz I've been like this ever since I can distinguish shit and chocolates and emoshit isn't the "in" thing yet.

Okay, back to business.
For a few days now I've been feeling really awful. I mean, there's no reason at all and I don't have a problem. I've always been like this every now and then and I don't understand why some people insist that I do have a problem when I don't. I mean, yeah I know there should be a cause but in my case, I'm just down.
Simple as that.
Is that so hard to understand? I reckon not.

This is something about me that I don't really understand either but I ought not to waste my time thinking of what I should do to get over this. I just learned to accept it that every once in a while I'll get completely fucked up not even knowing why.

Yeah, Kurt was right.
Nobody dies a virgin. Life fucks as all.
Hell, I'm so used up.

So there...
My occasional sadness smothering me again.
This is the kind of depression that I hate. I mean, there are times that I feel really down but I don't feel liking hating anyone. I just want to be alone and feel bad for myself and everything else. Nothing more. It's like depression over plain loneliness.
That's the time that I get in touch with the dark artistic side and I get to write more stuff, take more photos, and simply inspired.

This time around,
I just hate everything!! I'm so sorry but yeah, I do.

Cry

Get over it

well, get over whatever it is...

and sleep.

Not die.
Not today.

xxkimi

† ♥My Brother's Keeper♥ †

2007-10-06T20:50:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about my life and all the things that I do. I happen to be one competitive, greedy little bitch who wants to get everything. Oh well, you can say that I'm one of those annoying little brats. Though, I don't really get "everything" since I'm not one of those heiress kind of girls.

Let's just say... I have 'simple wants' so I get them and I'm fucking ambitious that people call me arrogant. Many people hate me even if they don't know me. I dress differently compared to the majority of the hypocritic conservatives, I say what i want and I'm straight to the point, they call me a war freak because you mess up with my friends I come to kill you, I laugh loudly, I'm somewhat vulgar, and blah blah blah...

Negative.

But then I know I don't live for them. I live for me and my purpose. Now this is the part where all hell breaks loose and I get lame.

Believe it or not, my brother makes a big role in everything I do. Not much people knows about it. Sometimes, even my closests friends won't believe me. Argg... But this little bitch has a soft side somwhat different from the fists and curses that I throw out. Yeah I'm mean, I know.

Anyway, my brother - Bobby - he's 12 years old, he's fat, he's cute, he's faint hearted, he's soft, he's sweet, he's weird like me and we make baby words together 'merrrrr' and he's got a bad temper. My baby boy... I live for him.

I am my brother's keeper.
You mess up with him, I'd be around...
I remember bullying his classmates who make fun of him...
He's so much my opposite. And everything I do must be good for him. I'm graduating soon. I'm going to put him into a good university since I'm in one. We're not rich so it's my turn to get him through. Every decision I make has something to do with his future.

My brother...
He means so much to me, though I make him cry every now and then. He's my little piglet and only I can call him that. It's funny how we live together. Oh well... he brings out the soft side in me. And I appreciate everything he does for me as well.

Check out this game: It's a really childish game but I really enjoy playing it...
^__^

Chick Flick
Play Games
at Shockwave

xxKimi

♥ Let's Play Poker ♥

2007-10-02T03:57:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, I wasn't able to come to school cuz I was sick. It's pretty fucked up cuz I had to skip classes today too. I mean, this is the time when I'm needed the most there. I have to finish like six papers, four with team mates.

Well, as for me I find it hard to stay at home communicating through text and emails. Sometimes I just want to be there. But anyways tomorrow I'd be attending regularly so hopefully I do finish all these shitloads on my back. It's really annoying, you know... getting all pressured in one week. I mean, I find it harder this time around because some subjects mean real business.

Anyway, let's play poker!!

I was freezing this morning while in class. We were dismissed early and we found ourselves playing cards inside. It's an offense but as long as we don't get caught. Hahah! I have to prepare my one peso coins. I said we should start betting tomorrow. It's really annoying! I mean, I was sick and I lost two consecutive times. The last time I played, I won all! Ugh!!

Well... well.. back to work.

Here are some pictures to set eyes on to put some spark on my page. I find this boring...

all available in:

DeviantArt

† Elusive Perfection Disguised in Vanity † - multiply

† Here Comes More †

2007-09-29T20:09:00.000-07:00

Marketing Mayhem

We didn't really do much this week but still, we were somewhat busy and completely exhausted. Those who went to Cebu just came home last Friday while us who were left here were required to attend the 2nd Student Ad Congress in Camp Aguinaldo last Thursday and Friday. Of course, I went there with Lou, Toni, Alvin, Renz, Mundo, Karen, Hannah, Ram, Senen, Ray and the rest of us left. The place was pretty strict. It was somehow funny cuz Renz got halted at the gate. He was wearing slippers when it was not allowed but we didn't know about that.

Ohh... me and my dear friends, always in trouble.

I thought he wouldn't be allowed to enter but then, they had to. Besides, we're still kids!! LOL

Consider us twenty years too young!

The Ad Congress is indeed good, in fact I find it better than that held in Araneta. The problem was, the IDs got all mixed up when we got there and I had to like, spend 30 minutes looking for the IDs of our section.

Anyway, the event itself was pretty good. I enjoyed it even if some were boring speakers. I also asked a question, and got praised by one of them for asking a good one. LOL. *head pops*

In the evening, we slept over Toni's house in Makati. It was also a blast, we scared Lou to death cuz she was afraid of monsters coming out of the window. Now, how funny is that!? It was good and again, I realized that bonding moments can be done without beer 0_o.

Friday... we left after the discussion. We didn't finish the awarding ceremony. We went to MOA and spent like hours in Tom's World. I spent all my money! And Mundo spent a big amount just to win tickets. It was funny too, how they got addicted to playing the "drop one peso and wait until one falls and you get some tickets" kind of game.

I didn't play that much but tried out other stuff instead. I'm not really an arcade kind of person.

I went home through the Ferry boat from MOA to Cavite City. I missed that a lot. My last time was when I was still in grade school.

PANA

Our entry for the PANA competition was in the Top Five!!

woooooooooooTTTT!!

xxKimi

† Take A Break... Waste Time †

2007-09-16T07:13:00.000-07:00

Wow!!! It's been week!!! Or weeks, I should say.

These past two weeks I was so busy that I felt so used up. Though, as usual, I always enjoy what I do which includes my routine complaints, rants, gossips and all the evil things in it. ^^ Well, of course I had a great time doing the better parts like the photo shoots, filming, rehearsals, traveling, and skipping class with the best excuse of having to do all these things! Legal.

Anyway, the Mini-Pahimis Festival went out great! It wasn't really that big and not all things went out as planned but it ended up pretty well. I have to admit, it definitely is one of the happiest moments of my experiences of college life with these guys. Oh yeahboi! =]] It was nothing but WORTH IT.

The preparation started off last month. I went out several times with my team to Amadeo to get speakers and those who will help us push through. It was a great start though we crammed in the last week because of the tents and some final touches.

After that, it was all fine...

----------PHOTOS WILL FOLLOW IN MY ALBUM. NOT YET UPLOADED.

On the other hand, I was more exhausted in making our paper for the PANA. Oh, I don't really want to talk much about it. There are lots of ups and downs, most likely disappointments.

I don't really care though if they knew. I bet they already do. I complain all the time and I do intend for them to find out sometimes. But the bright side, we finished it and got it there.

Over and out.

Oh man! I also cannot forget our parties.

I stayed at home for two days here in Cavite City. Ugh! They partied all those times. Anyway, there were more that I didn't miss. It was great, though I didnt get drunk in any of those occasions. Last time was when I pierced myself and trust me, I wasn't that down yet. Well, I miss my super drunk days. It was like two years ago.

Come to think about this, these people I'm partying with right now are happy people, not super drinkers. Hmmm... makes sense. It's not really the beer that makes the blast. But without the beer I'm still dead.

The After-Party was the sign of my break from all the shitloads that I have. I haven't slept for a few days until Friday. Then they decided to celebrate for our event success. What happened was I fell asleep right there for like an hour, woke up to fine an empty plate with some bones left! Silly.

More food came right after, finished off the cocktail Emjae created. =]]

Went home by 7 Fucking O'Clock which is totally not me! But it was fine.

Then here I am now....

blah!

=]]

† Commercial Filming †

2007-09-09T19:48:00.000-07:00

At last! Our commercial is done!

I'm not saying that it's really good though. It's more of funny actually...

Oh well I'm so exhausted I skipped school today. They're used to me suddenly not showing up anyway so I guess that's nothing new. Then... then... here's some sneak shots of our mascot... Ugh!! Really funny...

† Back to Basic Cramming †

2007-09-07T07:02:00.000-07:00

Alright... now I feel everything is back to normal since everything is falling apart just right. Okay, not really falling apart. I guess that's exagerated but I'm really cramming right now. I can imagine last week I wasn't doing anything except the tarpaulin for the Pahimis Festival and now, poof! I gotta do a lot of work again.

Haha, that's weird but now I feel alive again. Yeah, not doing anything is boring but a few beers isn't so I guess the boring days weren't really boring. Oh crap, I'm really talking shit right now.

Anyway... there!

I just finished my storyboard this evening and uploaded it. Tomorrow we're making a mascot! Then finalize the storyboard and have a film shooting on Sunday. It's really a rush, it has to be done by monday. Oh damn... it's always me who has to do the "rush" kind of things. Sometimes I feel people think that I'm some kind of superhero (villain). Powerful but mean. No kidding! Well, I don't regret that at all. Sometimes it's just hard when they expect a lot from me. Ugh! Imagine Superman not saving the day. Crap...

There.. there... the papers... the pictures... I don't know what to do first really. But I think I do. The commercial, right!

Oh....

I'm so not myself this evening! Thank goodness Zyra is texting me and I can see the effort of the 3rd year students. It makes me feel good to be supported. Well, I'm not into this alone so I'm so glad that they're around. And I'm so thankful (oh God thank you) that my classmates are also cooperating to participate in the film shooting for the commercial. Oh yeah, I love MKA45...

Well, well......

that's it... for this moment

xxkimi

† Digital Art Attempts!! =]] †

2007-09-03T05:23:00.000-07:00

Okay... everyone knows that I'm into photography and you can tell. Truth is, I've been into drawing/sketching first before all that photos and manips. I have a long history of drawing with pencils but never really got good in charcoal though.

Here's Duo Maxwell of Gundam Wing. An old sketch done some three years ago. I remember, I used to make drawings back in grade school and sell them for 10Pesos per piece. Hehe... some memorable stuff. One of my bestsellers was Kurama. =]]

Duo Maxwell * Gundam Deathscythe (pencil on bond paper)

Hmmm... technology does evolve fast. Or maybe I'm just a late bloomer in techies? (...really?) haha! I just had my Photoshop CS3 a few months ago so most of my digital art were done using some other software that was really hard to use. And... they were also simple like this:

"Say Cheese or Die" * sketch outline * created with Mr. Image Folio (scanner software)

So there goes my conquest for digital art. I've been a fan of really good digital art like those made by Alex Casteels and some other Euro dudes. They were also good in airbrushing and stuff. But then, like I've said before, Kimi's a beginner so perhaps things will get better in the future. For now, I'm making Manga characters. Here's me in drawing:

"Namesake" * title - song by Faspitch * Pencil sketch * created with Adobe Photoshop CS3

=you can view my photography and art in three sites=

† Midterm Week + Rain = Loneliness †

2007-08-28T13:28:00.000-07:00

Oh it's just lonely...

† Boreness Deathdom Project Suffocation †

2007-08-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

Okay, I blogged something last night but then the PC sort of crashed again and it didn't get posted so here, I'm doing the same thing probably over the same kind of story.

Anyway, yesterday I went home to catch a soccer match between my Germany and England. I don't have cable TV in my unit so there, I had to travel for that as usual. And to my fucking surprise, ESPN didn't have it scheduled for airing here, only in Singapore so that double sucks.

But then I made my print ad for my Techniques class so I don't think it's wasted though.

Now, I'm here in a cafe... doing another paper. I forgot all about my ethics paper so here... enjoy doing a boring thing once more. Now I feel isolated beside everyone around me. Don't care really. Ugh...

Then...

Hmmm....

Oh yeah, we're hitting Cebu-Bohol on September!! Weeeeeeeeeeeee!

xxkimi

† A Tale †

2007-08-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

I'm just waiting for my hair to get dry and finally set before I go to sleep or I'll end up having a bad hair day tomorrow. I'm pretty sick of hearing myself complain over the same shit about my hair every bad morning. So this is a remedy.

Anyway...

I've blogged about this dream guy that I couldn't get off my mind. Bellz, Vla, BZ, whatever he calls himself... I first saw him on DA and now proven my dreamboy happens to be a dreamgirl. Yeah, he's a she.

It doesn't really matter. I don't care though. I just wanted to say this because she's not hiding it - the fact that she's not a guy (she's lesbian). It's pretty cool and she's pretty either way, a girl or guy. Still a dream material doll.

A lot of people (especially those who admire her photography) had made her sexuality an issue which I don't really find a big deal. She's beautiful and very artistic. I find it annoying when people suddenly dislike her when they "proved" she was a girl and not the guy that they thought she was.

So there... very artistic little androgynous girl...

there a boy

and another boy...
and a girl.

and I still admire her... completely.

her sites: DA LJ

xxKIMI

† Trouble My Mind Much More †

2007-08-16T21:39:00.000-07:00

Okay, this entry will contain several topics... as I haven't updated much.

[† GLOOMY RAIN MAKES ME HAPPY †]

As usual, the weather makes me feel happy. It's raining quite hard and the third storm in a row had just passed. Most likely, another will come in a week or so and it's been raining for days now. It's somewhat gloomy but I appreciate much of the sadness it brings me.

I saw on the news that it's a symptom of some psychological disorder. Hehe... made me think again. I know I have manic depression - one thing that my mom and my aunt cannot accept. Now, there's another one? *woot-woot* Now I'm a basket of psychotic symptoms. It's pretty funny, how people perceive me simply as this jolly, loud, arrogant and threatening person. Err...

Here are some uneditted pics that I took last week:

[† FAKE IMAGES OF UNDYING INSECURITIES †]

Then there's one more issue that bothers me badly...

Last week I was browsing in my Friendster account. I couldn't help but notice many of them are so "strong" in personality. I'm not generalizing, though, all those who have these kinds of images there since I know some and I can tell that they are really like that.

I'm more like referring to those kids who seem to be so fake. It made me wonder if they were building some kind of image in their dreamworld which happens to be cyberspace. Some kids spoke as if they were so hot and perfect. Personally, I wasn't affected since I'm a little like that too. But looking at their conversations and some stuff they talked about such as vanity and their depressive perfection, I don't feel like they are what they claim to be.

I talked to my professor in Philosophy and we agreed that they were insecure people. Partly, some of my thoughts were right. These kids are trying to make images of themselves that they cannot portray in real life. In cyberspace, scene kids are widely accepted and there are many of them (us) who come together and talk. They gain confidence and somewhat so-called respect from people who look up to the images that they had built.

That fact was one thing which is not too easy in real life. There's wide discrimination and the stares and stuff like can bring one person down. They tend to group themselves only with people like them ignoring much of those who are different. Most of them are loners and intimidating. Then the web is one remedy.

It's not general though and I feel like it's applicable to a few insecure little kids who needs attention. Imagine, they can build a world right from inside their room and their little circle of friends. Then they create a universe of hundreds or thousands from the internet.

[† MINI PAHIMIS FESTIVAL †]

MKA45 is also working on our Mini Pahimis Festival (Mini Coffee Festival) for our PR Week Event. We had been to Amadeo a few times now and we were supposed to go back today but since classes were suspended again, I had to postphone it next Wednesday.

I'm really excited for this and I was made the Head of the Negotiations Team. I find that fun though cuz I had to go to different place to talk to different people but it made me wonder if I was "approachable". I mean, look at me. Do I look nice to you?

Anyway, classes had been suspended yesterday and today due to the weather. Errr...

[† THAT'S IT †]

I actually have one more story but I guess I'll it some other time. I'm pretty annoyed with that. So this will be it for now.

Cheerios!

xxkimi

† Raining Raining ~ I'm Happy †

2007-08-08T02:30:00.000-07:00

Here's a five minute blog...

The rainy season is back again at last! I like summer and all the fun with it - the outings, trips, gimiks and everything else. But then... it's just not my kind of weather.

Raining... again! Cold... once more. And now I feel complete. It's ironic but the lonely feeling it brings makes me feel complete because being all too happy is just not me. A lot wouldn't understand that and many would think that I'm just making out that feeling in my head but then, sorry to disappoint you - it's been like that since I was a kid. Why? IDK...

The wet shoes and clothes bring back happy memories too. It's exciting to crash against the rain to catch a class only to find out that it was suspended. ^^

ooooh...

pics to come!

† There I Go p0o0of and Die †

2007-08-03T20:29:00.000-07:00

Who would have thought that it would come from my own mouth?

Now, I dwell in my own mistake.

Not that I feel completely guilty. Although I am guilty, it's not the guilt that's killing me. It's the fact that I will never change, I will always be what I am and I will continue to kill.
And because of that I'm worth none of your time and attention. Sooner or later I'd destroy you myself.

No, this is not pathetic self pity and I'm not trying to make you feel sorry nor sympathy for me.
These are my thoughts. Welcome to Kimi's reality.

I hate how I think. I always tend to make things complicated. It sucks really. I think too much about things that I should just let go and now instead of making my life much more simple, I just turned it into yet another freak show.

Last night, I did exactly that. I made myself realize just how one person can ruin everything with words. Plain words. And words do kill, only slower and much painful.

But no, I can't die. I won't.

It's not my guilt. I don't feel much remorse. It's just the fact that I am fairly evil that bothers me. Somehow, I don't want that...

† Everything Is A Game †

2007-08-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

Life is just a game. You can't deny it. The only difference is there are no resets, no second chances and just winners and losers.

† Doing The Best Is Never the Best †

2007-07-25T07:59:00.000-07:00

"I did my best for the team."

I don't care.

Really.

There's one thing that I have learned in the soon-to-be-20 years of my life. The best is never the best.

When people do something, people tend to say that they're doing their best to make things right, to make things better... to make it the best. Fuck best. There's no such thing. Like what I told my brother, and what he always tells me when we argue, and what our Philo prof loves to imply, people look at things in different ways. What is best for you is not for me and the same bullshit.

Just one simple thing...

Don't do your best, do what should be done.

Sometimes doing your best mess things even more... especially when you're in a team. We're not asking for your best... we're asking for your contribution to do what you should.

† Sucker Love †

2007-07-06T22:06:00.000-07:00

Broken spirits...

But no, my heart isn't bleeding

Oh well, what's going on? I'm not really sure what's REALLY going on. As far as I'm concerned there's a part of me that's falling apart.

I came to look at myself and realize what I really am...

whore

Everything wrong about me just seems to come out of my nose as if I was bleeding and I try to say it's nothing. Blood is red, can't deny those drops falling... soon I'm dead.

It's confusing - what should I do? Really??

Oh, again as usual, I'm making everything complicated. Such a nerd.

xxKIMI

† Yeah Bebe... †

2007-07-05T20:45:00.000-07:00

I hate doing research in the school com lab, they usually block a lot of sites and sometimes we just want to open them. Crap... they've blocked Friendster, and Myspace, and other sites which is so annoying. They even block blogs.

Ironically, this site they haven't blocked.

LOL

so I'll blog... that they haven't locked it and if they do, I hate them ever more!

† Destroying Myself †

2007-07-04T09:10:00.000-07:00

No questions, the fault was initially mine.

I go for things that I know I can't have.

I try to hard to make something happen when I know I can never will.

I aspire too high knowing that the risk of falling is can kill me.

I dare to do things that I know I can't handle.

I end in bitterness and obviously, it was me in the first place to blame.

Bury me, bury me

I do things that I know are wrong but enjoy at first and hurt in the end.

I debate with myself, thinking that I can actually do what I claim but end up realizing...

again I was fucking wrong.

The mistake was mine

Waste away with me

I'm a hopeless criminal guilty of no crime but guilty of murder

I murder myself with words and I killed them twice.

I killed myself a hundred times before.

Never love me, never loved me

Aspire high

He never wanted me

Aspire high

And the other who learned I made fun of...

I've always made life feel like a game but with no restarts

The ultimate reward, still to be known when I come to the end of it all.

I no longer know what to believe in.

I said it was a game

I made it my game

I made it with my own rules

I broke them

I lost

This night will never end

I said I was winning

I believed that I was winning...

And I end up with nothing at all.

my fucking fault

† Strategic Marketing †

2007-06-30T06:59:00.000-07:00

This is just soooo great!! ^^

I was really shocked but I was chosen as one of the eight team members for as representatives of our school for the Strategic Marketing Competition! It's so great since I really want to get into the group.

But of course, I'm not there alone. I'm also working with other people but I am hoping that we do make it right!!!!! This should be just good enough to get into the top 5!

Oh my hopes and dreams. Here I go again and competition drives me nuts once more.

Who said I didn't have brains!??

Japarski... I'm so paranoid, amf!

Anyway, today... what we did today is for us to keep...

haha...

LOL

I sound wasted

err

xxKIMI

† Growing Into Our Skin †

2007-06-26T03:35:00.000-07:00

Time: 6:44 pm
Location: Virtus Villa Nicasia Dasma
Mood: Confused with senselessness

I was reading something last night that caught my attention.

It was something in Lasalleño's Music Special where they featured an interview with Chicosci specifically with Mong and Miggy (my beloved). They do have sense and in fact I like what they say even if they sometimes hit and I'm like "these bastards..."

Well, caught my attention was when they mentioned about their mature music - that they have finally grown to what they are now; more mature than before. Before, it was all experimental until the realization came of what they want to be.

I completely got it! Finally...

For years I've heard the issues of posers, fakers and all the bullshit about this fucking topic that really annoys me. Posers (or poseurs whatever) are always there and they will never leave but let's not be all too quick in judging these people. We know, for example an artist who tries to be rock just because it's in, are the fakers because it's not their passion. But as for other people who seems to be just in now cuz that's what's in or what... this is the only time when rock is being indulged everywhere.

Let's view it this way - this is the moment where many people get exposed to our music (rock) and so some appreciate it for real shifting from the tweetums to listening to this. What I'm trying to say is, not all newbies in the scene are fake. ^^

Take my story for example...

I loved rock since I was a kid cuz of my parent's influence I guess. My dad and my mom listen to bands and stuff like that instead of love songs or soul. Aside from that reason, I can relate to rock songs... their lyrics and the heavy riffs (referring to hardcore and some metal). I just couldn't get on with the loveeee duvvvvy songs.

Then there came friends who don't listen to rock. Here came my experimental phase. They listened to this and that and being a teen that no one really liked, I tried to mingle. I tried to like it and listened to rock when I'm alone. When I was with them I would sing what they did, trying to fit it. I will never deny that because that time was the hardest part of my life.

When you're a kid, you just want to belong. I wanted to have friends. Come on, I just wanted to be happy!! Miserable little girl.

Then I learned to do things secretly... own songs, own poems, own art, own ideas and own world. It was something they didn't really know except for one who knew most of me.

Then, there came college. REALIZATION STAGE. This was the time that my friends and I moved away from each other. I met new people.

I learned to be more alone than ever. It was my chance to do what I really wanted.

Freedom...

Finally, I didn't have to sing Backstreet Boys although I was a fan really. This time around I can scream and dress up the way I wanted without friends telling that I looked awful. They knew me like this now.

I grew up...

Through my four years in college that will soon end in March, I changed a lot. My hair was long then short then long. It was brown, then blond, then black, then red, then blue... I still listened to my beloved rock although I hate to bother about the genre, they give me headaches. I appreciate both old and new artists...

that's basically that

xxKIMI

† The 1st Boring Regada †

2007-06-24T05:53:00.000-07:00

..for the first time I didn't go out this fiesta...
and I was bored...
for the first time

† For I Am the Queen of the Geeks †

2007-06-16T22:27:00.000-07:00

I was talking to some kids over Friendster and a lot really complained about school and all. Well, of course who wouldn't? One commented that only kids only like school. Oh yeah right, so "cool people" are supposed to hate school? Not that I'm saying that I'm cool but not that cuz you like school means you're a... geek.

Well, anyway, if that's so then...

ALL HAIL ME... QUEEN OF THE GEEKS

I love school. It doesn't mean though that I would die studying and focusing on all subjects and read all day long. Nope, trust me, I won't and I never did.

I grew up doing things on my own in my own way. But I never failed any of that. Pardon my arrogance but that's true. Since this is the net and most probably you don't personally know me, I feel fine with boasting somehow. LOL

† School Definition

When I say school it doesn't necessarily mean all the books, profs, and lessons that we have. I'm also talking about my friends, the adventures we have and everything that we go through together. Truth is, these friends are my life. Almost half of this rotten life revolves around them. hen I say school, it includes the nights I got drunk and the exams I flunked...

...not all too geeky anymore.

It just so happens most things that happens to me either happens there or with the people that I met there. I don't really have any childhood friends or anything so most of my barkada are my classmates and the super extended network included. I spend most of my time is school as well. I don't often go somewhere too far or what... although I do (in bars near the school) but then... I just perceive things that way.

† Grading Matters

As for grades... yeah I'm grade conscious but not exagerrated. You know what I mean. I need high grades because I want to have them, not because my mom will screw me for not having them. It's more of a personal goal.

Obviously, I want high grades cuz I'm one hell of an ambitious bitch. I have this thing for my future that, maybe not even you, would believe. I'm highly prolific and I tend to mix fantasy with real life... and my dreams make a big part of that collision. I have so many things in mind.

† Can You Stand That?

I just kept thinking, I don't want a boring life. I want adventure... if I stay at home... isn't that just boring? Facing the computer 24/7 until I have no idea what site to open and eating the whole day. Then what? Go out at night, get drunk and all fed up with nothing sensible... and... what?

I can't stand that. I'd rather read a good book. Yeah, a good book and some vodka, later I'm already a character in the book. Life's not all that. What comes in life is our decision and I choose not to do the usual stare-at-the-ceiling moment for more than four hours. I've done that and my back started to hurt. I can last three hours and 59 minutes max.

† Geeky or Not

Who cares really...

haha...

there is a time to read...

and a time to get wasted...

and times to be all that geeky

† And Again... School †

2007-06-11T23:37:00.000-07:00

Oh, looks like I won't be updating daily anymore. Errr...

School starts tomorrow and hell, I'll be freakin' busy again for one last year. Finally! One last year! Then move out!! Woooohooo!!! Tomorrow I return to my dorm and to school. I missed my buds.

Ironically I missed school...

Oooooh... I wonder wonder wonder... what comes next? LOL

† Dormination †

2007-06-10T09:49:00.000-07:00

Aww.. this is tiring! Today I went to my dorm again to make the final cleanup and put everything back into place. Jess was with me and after some few hours, the place looked neat.

Now it makes me think twice about leaving next sem but I know I really have to. I'll miss that place, it's been my home for the past three years. Errrr...

As for now, I'll just make the most of my dorm life. I treat it like my second home (well, it sort of is since I spend more time there than at home as in home home). I looked around and felt my bed... this is it! Soon I'm moving out and back to the real "homination"...

Err, the things I say!!

Soon, I'll move out for real and when I do, I'll make sure I choose a nice, comfy place to be my home!

xxKIMI

† The Theme is Themeless - 2nd Amateur Shoot †

2007-06-09T01:07:00.000-07:00

I had my 2nd Amateur Photoshoot yesterday and It was great!!

I really had lots of fun with Mae and Dhesz and Uge.

I met up with Dhesz and got so hungry. We ate first at Delifrance but it got us a little late so we started in the afternoon. We should've had lunch over Mae's house. Err...

We didn't really have a theme to begin with so it was more a spontaneous one. Everything that we did were right from our minds and all ideas were like impromptu. The makeup and the clothes (except for those that we brought) were also undecided. That was the fun part of it. The locations that we had, though, was great. We had it over Mae's house and several spots in Alabang. Uge helped us out, some photos were taken by him and he's our driver! HEHE... But he didn't mind, so sweet BF of Mae. Dhesz kept laughing most of the time. She loved to look at the cam!! As for me, I was fat than ever. LOL

Mae was a great model and she's beautiful too! Dhesz was also great... and funny.

Anyway, I'm planning a theme for the next shoot but that wouldn't be anytime soon because school will start next week so we're going to be busy again so expect most of my photos will all be spontaneous and unplanned.

Here's a preview of what's to come.

Just a group photo. All other pics will be uploaded when I'm done with labelling and editting them.

Please visit my albums in

DA and my Official Photoalbum.

I will also upload it in Multiply.

Thanx and Love!

xxKIMI

† Locked Outside my Own House †

2007-06-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

This day is one of the worst days of my life! Although it didn't end up to be so bad... but it still is... bad!

Anyway, this is what happened:

This afternoon I went to drop some things off at my dorm unit so that I wouldn't have to carry so many stuff when I return there before school. The next thing I knew, after two hours of gruesome travel time, I was locked outside! Well, not my own house though... my own dorm (that had been my house for three years now)

I mean, the door lock just wouldn't pop open! I got the pad lock removed but the door lock just wouldn't open. I stared at my keys for like... five minutes confirming to myself that the one I was using was the right key and it was undamaged. Oh well... but the next thing I know... I was still outside.

It had been fifteen minutes, no one was answering my calls except for my mom. I don't know where the hell everyone else were. Then it started to rain! Can you just believe that!!??

So I was wet...

Locked out...

Waiting for someone to pick up the freaking phone...

Then I saw these "kuya's" or those handymen guys from the telephone car, I think they're repair men. I begged them to open my door and after all the attempts, it popped!! Finally!!

Bloody afternoon.

Now, problem is... I couldn't close it. Damn...

† Another Obsession!? Err.. Why the old man!? †

2007-06-04T20:07:00.001-07:00

Err... before I start ranting about my coming last year in school like I've done so in my friendster blog... I'll do this first. Don't worry, I'll blog about it here too and put pics of my friends that I'll never forget.

For now, this is my topic:

The OLD MEN OBSESSION

It makes sense though, I've always had an eye for older man. When I was 14, I had a boyfriend nine years older than me! Now, my boyfriend is seven years older than me. Oh well, I'm a villain, I know. And maybe being a bitch is part of it. Haha...

But NOTE: THE OLD MEN I LIKE...LOOKS GOOD.

Nope, I dont like men who resemble my grand father. That would disgust me, really. I don't like old, fat, gray haired men approaching me asking me to go out. That is not... my type!!

Right now...
I'm so into these two guys:

Yeah, I know, I've blogged about him a million times but man, Robert Knepper just wouldn't leave my head! He's 29 years my senior! But awesome guy! Another Rob (who is my friend) said it was creepy for me to like him, but hey!! who doesn't have their fantasies!?

William Fitchner!!
He's also starred in Prison Break and a lot of other movies!! Hot guy!
And he's exactly 31 years my senior. He was born in November 20, 1956... I was born in November 20, 1987.
One more thing! He's of German descent!! And I love germans! Haha,
(Hey Timo, if you're reading this, here's a credit to you and your family!!)

Yeah yeah, so I've thought... I'm one silly little girl...

Let's face it, we all have our dirties dreams don't we? I'm just silly enough to actually post this. And what other people think doesn't matter. It's true!! I love them!! hihi!!

† Expired! Amfufu.. Why is Adobe so expensive anyway?

2007-06-02T08:30:00.000-07:00

I'm really, really sad... my trial version of Adobe just got expired and I'm using it for almost everything! It's so annoying. I want to purchase one but man, $599?! No way! That's equivalent to a four-day trip to Singapore, Malaysia or Hong Kong.

I'm just wondering why is it so expensive when so many people needs it!? Or using it, rather.

ERr.. Completely depressed...

I hate it when small things make me this way.

xxKIMI

† 2nd Amateur Photoshoot Scheduled †

2007-06-01T07:38:00.000-07:00

It's actually surprising since Eca and I haven't planned any photoshoots again although we ought to repeat. This morning Mae messaged me to say that she wanted a shot too so out of nowhere came this decision:

Saturday June 8 2007 - 2nd Amateur Photoshoot

It's really exciting and of course, I'm in crossed-fingers-all-hopes state.

I mean, anything might happen in one week but I'm all hopeful because the 1st one was scheduled months before, the date was decided weeks before but we managed to execute. Now this is one week away and I'm really, really excited.

We're gonna have three cameras. This time I want to make a good, crisp shot.

As usual, this is a big thing for me. I really love photography. Of all arts, right now this is the one that I'm indulged in. But I will never forget the other arts that I love and appreciate such as drawing, poetry, speech, filming and all. It's only that this is the one I'm in love with.

Photography has a long story behind it. Hmmm... I'd tell it some other time, right now I'm just glad to announce this photoshoot!!

xxKIMI

† Official Photo Album †

2007-05-31T00:05:00.000-07:00

I have planned to finally close down one site and make another which will be better and official. I made this site in Live Spaces and I have decided that this will contain my official photo album. I will upload everything there, of course, aside from my DA Account, Friendster, Multiply, and Flickr.

This site will include everything under the sun - photography, art sketches, events, outing with family and friends and everything else. Please keep updated!!

Also, visit me and add me there if you will!

--> Far Out Without Wonders Site

Thanx

xxKIMI

† Photoshoot + Skull Bag But No Shoes

2007-05-30T09:50:00.000-07:00

Like a child, I want to brag like hell but I won't anyway.

† May 28 2007 †

Eca and I finally had our first amateur photo shoot. I've been blogging about this a lot within two days. Yeah this is really a big thing for me because I love photography so much that I appreciate every part of it. This special date is really a big thing! Considering that it was all photography and all.

We had several settings - 1. cemetery 2. seaside & 3. street

It was really fun, completely scene. It doesn't matter though. I'm still excited because we're planning for another one. Hopefully, hopefully, hopefully...

Here's a preview of the 1st set. I will soon upload an album for the 1st set and soon for the others. Each set only has a few photos.

† May 30 2007 †

Then today...

I'm just disappointed. I saw these pair of shoes that really look awesome from Pony. Hmm.. I would really like to get my hands on it but unfortunately, all my mom managed to get me was a skull bag. No regrets though. I know I'd still have those shoes!!

Hahaha...

Sue me for LUST OF THE EYES ~vanity

xxKIMI

† He's A She!!!!!!!!!!!!

2007-05-28T20:56:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it...

I blogged about this guy, Vlad, that I really liked. He's like my perfect dreamguy. It feels really awkward, I just found out that he's a girl. Yeah, lesbo baby. He looks like a guy but a pic shows he has boobs! No, he didn't get a boob job I supposed. I started examining his pix and turns out, he does have the shape of a woman.

Oh well... girls trying to be boys and boys trying to be girls.

As far as I'm concerned, I'm both.

† The Last of Us

2007-05-26T08:35:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, I'm going to go to this reunion with some highschool classmates. This might just be the last of us, the final memories. Sooner or later we're having our own jobs, move out and never come back.

Tomorrow... I really have no idea what will happen. I'll see old friends, old plastics & hypocrites, and the stares as usual I will have to endure. I know I've changed a lot since college. I learned not to listen to what they think and just do what I want without giving a damn what they would say. In highschool, I was so afraid to be rejected that I taught myself to like the things that they did. This time around, I know what I want and that real friends would appreciate that.

I'm not saying I didn't have real friends in highschool. I just learned more in college.

On the other hand, I'm grateful for having them as my friends (despite some being judgemental). It's not really my problem. In fact, I love seeing their reactions towards me. If only I could pierce myself more. Hahaha!

Goodluck tomorrow... our last.

xxKIMI

My Purple Ribbon

2007-05-25T07:19:00.001-07:00

my purple ribbon, originally uploaded by xMikiX.

Something new, finally a plain white background.
Well, it was taken before my haircut. The ribbon was made of two satin ribbons and chiffon ribbon in the middle with tiny multicolored glassbeads with metallic purple/blue tones. Metal clip fixed.
I made it!! ^^
As for the background, I'm planning to have more shots with it. It's actually in the hospital where my mom works. It's still under construction so it's all solemn and plain.

xxKIMI

† Oh Man Can You Believe I Missed School †

2007-05-24T04:21:00.000-07:00

May 23 2007

Yesterday I enrolled for my 2nd to the last semester in DLSU. I really missed school, believe it or not. Well, I guess cuz much of my life revolved there it's no wonder I do miss school. No it's better to say that I missed my friends in school and the things that we do together there (and out there).

I was, in fact, excited to get there...

Of course, there are also some negative sides in going back. One is having to deal with the people that I hate being with. But that doesn't matter much. I always put in mind - without these annoying, self-righteous people, we wouldn't have anyone to talk about.

Aside from that... I also received a lot of compliments about the hair which was pretty nice. But I also had my hair pulled more than ten times whenever some friends pass by.

Then Mae had a treat for us, a late birthday treat.

Unfortunately Eca wasn't around... Oh well...

xxKIMI

† It's Just A Freakin' Website †

2007-05-21T05:28:00.000-07:00

I lived my life this whole summer in a world of friends made up of bytes and photos.
And I lived in a freaking website...
With this fact, I can't believe that so many people, including myself, have depended on it for joy, belongingness and practically everything else that it can provide.
Now, that's the power of innovation...

People become less personal.

† Wee!! I'm glad †

2007-05-19T07:41:00.000-07:00

Errr... even if I have received some discrimination early this evening, everything was fine.
I've uploaded something on DA and someone just commented something partially racist concerning asians. I have to admit I am pissed off. Well, I wouldn't bother trashing over that guy cuz I have many white friends and I respect them. If I was to say something, this page is not enough.
Anyway, I'm just happy. Janey dropped by and we had lots of talk!! I really missed her!!
Awwww...
Well, I'll update tomorrow on this. I'm kinda sleepy now.
Goodnite.

xxKIMI

† Envy Jealousy Frustration Pain †

2007-05-16T09:35:00.000-07:00

Before I turn my computer off and doze off to my fantasies, I would like to share some thought first.

It's awful... how I feel right now. I am a committed person, happy with her life, but unfortunately has a fantasy world that I cannot leave.

Lately, I've been witnessing in both TV shows and real life a series of psychopath jerks who live with their fantasies clashing to reality. They tend to mix the truth with fiction and think as if they are indeed living, well, like the way that they thought they do. It's a pathetic sight having to deal with their lies while they all act as if it was true or real.

Well, as for me I know how to keep these fictional things in my world and not let them escape. Although sometimes I tend to, I hold on my lips not to talk to myself while on a long ride. Trust me, it's hard. Of course, these fantasies of mine are all based on reality, existing people and yes, anime.

Another fact - I have this thing for boys with makeup. No, not limited to so-called and labelled "emo boys" but to the general majority of these boys may they listen to post hardcore or not. I love them. I dig them. I completely adore them. It mixes with my undeniable taste for Europeans.

I am literally drying myself in this tropical island... I have to getaway!!

Of all those things, there is only one man that I adore completely. It's ironic, I don't even know his last name. It doesn't matter. I just can't resist him - his perfect eyes, lovely hair, and those lips... I'm dying for him. And he's dying for a girl.

This is one of those moments where you say, "you don't even know I'm existing". It's a heartbreaking fact. To him, I'm one of those stupid fans commenting on his work. I have watched him post his stuff while I act like this illusionada all those times. A perfect, desperate, dreamy girl. I am indeed weary about myself... I'm like a stalker, only that I don't see him in person.

Yes he is a photographer. And he is inlove.

The girl is lovely as well. I have nothing against her and I can't even imagine getting rid of her. In fact, I come to think they're a perfect couple. Thinking of me taking her place... is fucking stupid and awkward. But, again, seeing their photos together is completely devastating.

Anyway, just so you'd see here he is. I don't even know if you'd appreciate him but when I'm lost in my dreams, he's all in my mind..

Vladimir

Help me find my own...

† Long Live The Philippine Election Games †

2007-05-15T23:02:00.000-07:00

What is happening in our country is a complete disaster. Everything is like a game and politics is not for leading the country but for earning money.

The Senatorial Elections happened last Monday. I didn't vote, I'm not registered. I'm not proud neither am I ashamed of that fact.

Right now, I'm really confused with the government. The administration is doing everything to bring the opposition down including illegal ways. They tried really hard to pin Alan Cayetano down up to this very moment. They are trying to get their candidates in the top 12, of course. The whole election is a mess. Brownouts, murder, and sabotage are the country's main issues for the past months. It's a very degrading thing for us...

Selfish for power and prestige, they will do anything to get into the position.

Our president is doing everything too, for her own interests of course. I couldn't see much of the good of her doings because if there are any, no one notices unless researched. And trust me, we will need top researchers to figure that out.

Please God, give us a good leader to save our country...

to save us...

to save me...

† They Disgust Me †

2007-05-13T08:05:00.000-07:00

Love is blind.

Love is stupid. Well, love makes people stupid.

Love is selfless...

Love is whatever may it be...

Love creates improper justifications just for the sake of it. That's why love has so many metaphors and synonyms and alias... to defend thy feeling and thy mistake.

Sometimes we tend not to see that there are some couples out there that are just disgusting - thinking that it's love that they're playing but just that crush and the urge to have someone. In the end is just pain... Pitiful creatures...

if you just know who...

anyway, it's summer!! For a moment I will let them be happy.

OH, like I've said, I'm not nice - always mean...

† Trash Girls †

2007-05-13T01:56:00.000-07:00

I hate these bitches... although there are times I know I act as if one of them.

There are these girls who make these groups for the beautiful and all. They are the pretty ones, the vain, and the (im)perfect. It's alright for me. I'm even a member of some group.

But then, there are these exagerated groups (and members) who are like "I'm mean so fuck off" but talks anyway. It's like the perfect reverse psychology.

I don't know. Some do deserve to be there, I've talked to them.

But most are just purely fake.

† The Club Music Fascination †

2007-05-12T03:26:00.000-07:00

I've always loved rock music since I was in gradeschool and it's certified that I am not one of those newbie trend followers who seek rock cuz it's "in". Trust me, I know my roots although perhaps not that much but I could still define my footstand.
But then, there's still this sound in my head. Heavy drum beats, fast tunes and those crystal sounds that's like lonely and outer space. I move with the beat and my head beats as well. I don't know what music that was. It's pretty awkward to find out years later.
I'm not a good dancer. I left the act six years ago after realizing that it's not for me. But I love moving with the beat in an unconstrained manner. No steps, just body shaking back and forth, hands waving and my head lost in the sound of that outer-space chimes. Trust me, when I hear these sounds, I get high; not to mention the lights that come with it.
There, here ye College!! Welcome for the late bloomer (which is very common in the Philippines). After being isolated in our never-big city, I realize how many things I've missed. I had more freedom with fashion (finally no borders) and more independence for my music - no one cares what I want!! It's awesome, unlike being stuck at home I learn nothing and tend to be stupid.
On the other hand, aside bashing with rock... I finally gave trance and club music the chance.
I love this music...
Instead of love songs and R&B, this is the sound that soothes me...

DJs I love:

paul van dyk

dj tiesto

chicane

† Frustrated †

2007-05-09T23:16:00.000-07:00

I'm bored...
I'm really frustrated...

again a bagful of complaints.

Complete blog @ my other Blog - Fallen to Pierce Lies©

† The Chosen Ones †

2007-05-09T06:29:00.000-07:00

Education in our country used to be one of the top priorities. Of course, like every other government oriented activity, it has been long forgotten - spit down the memory lane behind corruption and plunder.

It's an annoying thing - only a few young educators deserve to be called teachers and professors; the remaining majority are just there for the salary and have money. That majority are usually the typical dumb ones who don't even know how to teach and what to actually teach; the ones who don't really care what happens to the kids as long as they get their monthly pay it's fine.

Then here come college - the moment of doom.

Note: Everything that will be said in the following paragraphs are just generalizations and have room for error; there are exceptions to the rule.

There are those kids who doesn't care called the stupid ones. Even if they are rich or not, everyone knows they need it. The poor ones who choose not to study sometimes end up dead in the streets or perhaps... still poor. The rich ones who choose not to study sometimes end up clinging on to their wealth for dear life or also dead in the streets after they get bankrupt. Then there are those who are given a second chance to survive.

Those who choose to study are the guided ones. They either survive, learn to live life, learn to be corrupt, learn to use other people, or simply learn to work. Then there are those not given enough opportunities and nothing really happens.

Then for those in school...

There are those who are given the chance to study in good schools - they are the lucky ones.

There are those who are given the chance to study in college, regardless of name and prestige - they are the blessed ones.

Then, finally, there are those who are able to study in schools with a respectful name, good reputation, quality education, and assurance - they are the chosen ones.

But whoever you are and to whatever description you might belong, whatever happens in the future depends on you. It doesn't really matter because nowadays, nothing matters. Our time defies the rules and laws of life.

I am one of the chosen ones and I'm proud.

But whatever I will be still depends on me. I can be a successful businesswoman, a rogue photographer putting makeup on every subject, or dead on the street after a night's alcohol overdose.

For the mean time, the only important thing for me right now is defy my own law.

I am the forgotten chosen one.

xxLELE

Well.. JUst wanted to write this one

2007-05-08T19:37:00.000-07:00

it!!Name - Kimi
Nicknames - Lele Kim
Age - 19 and getting older

xxLOLxx

**Kimi**

.is loud & crazy.
.ultimate toma queen & beer pro.
.doesn't study but never fails.
.obviously arrogant but proud of being that.
.doesnt care what other people think.
.fights for what she thinks.
.fights for friends & family.

**Loves**

.art.
.photography.
.internet surfing.
.photo editing.
.photosets.
.colors.
.makeup and clothes.
.parties and gigs.
.music esp rock/trance.
.piercings and ink.
.pizza pasta & iced tea.
.soccer.
.Bayern Munchen & FC Barcelona.
.F1 - Kimi Raikkonen & Michael Schumacher.
.Dogs.
.Airplanes.
.Joyrides.

**admires**

.girls & boys that know where to stand.
.expressive people.
.real people - not animals that look like humans.
.creative people with a sense of humor.
.those who appreciate others for what they are.
.boys with makeup.

**hates**

.selfish and self-righteous ones.
.feelingera people.
.fake people.
.boys who ask if they're gay and brags about it.
.girls who think they co-authored Glamour Mag.
.people who can't take jokes but has the guts to make fun of other people.
.people who cannot understand.
.narrow minded creeps.

† Stuck in A Moment and You Just Can't Stop It

2007-05-05T07:52:00.000-07:00

**that feeling

Have you ever felt the feeling of being stuck in a certain place or time and there's just no way to get out of it? That moment like when you're held at gun point and you close your eyes and you just can't stop!?? It's when you were in a scary ride like the Viking in Star City (the one like Anchors Away in Enchanted Kingdom) and your brother throws up. And literally, it's just what happened.

Jette invited me to come with her to Star City cuz she had these discount coupons. So, I was excited to see her again. She's been my friend since 6th Grade. It was really nice so I thought of bringing my brother Bobby with me since yesterday was his birthday. I promised him that this would be my present for him.

**This afternoon we set out...

We went with Jette first to Harrizon Plaza to exchange some damaged DVDs. Bobby ate some shawarma and I took some pix. After that we went straight to Star City to enjoy the first ride... the Viking.

Bob was (is) afraid of heights... and I told him to face his fears.

Wrong fucking move.

He freaked out... and threw up!!

Errr..
I didn't feel embarassed or anything. I felt so sorry for my brother. Everyone knows he's such a baby and I shouldn't have forced him to take the ride. Now I feel really mean not only to Jess but also to him. It made me feel really bad.

**The Aftermath

Okay, okay... so mean sister has to make up for her bad deeds. Again, I felt bad cuz I had to ask Jette to buy Bob some new clothes... which was pretty nice in the end. I asked her to buy those DX shirt that we saw on the way up.

I almost gave Bob a bath and I felt really bad making him wait in the cubicle that long until Jette came. He had a complete outfit change and my bag stank...

**It was fun anyway

So, we resorted to walking through ones... and Jette and I took the rides instead. Bob had to wait and that made me feel even bad. I was up the Surf Dance and I could see Bob waving to me from down there. It was one of those awful feelings that I hate having.

I cancelled the Cyclone (rollercoaster) for some other time. I couldn't stand Bob anymore. We had fun with the game booths and bump cars and picture taking...

Oh well... here are some pix

I will soon post the complete set (plus edits)

For the mean time these are all:

Bob Nervous

Bob Freaks Out

Kimi and Jette
Oh sorry we caused this...

xxKIMI

† Perfect Anathema †

♥ LEAVING ♥

♥ Photo Manipulation ♥

† FC Barcelona v Manchester United †

† TROJAN VIRUS + PIRACY †

♥ Hana Kimi ♥

♥ I'm A MySpace Whore ♥

♥ Photo Day Set 3 Release ♥

♥ New Flickr Account ♥

♥ Products of Depression & Anxiety ♥

† ENVY †

† No More Blondie †

Poke Me

♥ Paving My Way ♥

♥ Banner Ads... LOL ♥

† Metamorphic Dreams †

† Respect Copyrights Please! †

† I Hate Being Sick †

† Getting Over †

† Stop †

† It's Alright Kids... †

♥ I wish I could be... ♥

♥ Happy Birthday Mom & Aunt! ♥

You Got Me... ††

Wilkommen Zwei tausend und achtGluckliches neues Jahr!

† More Fear †

† Insanity †

† As Usual, Back to Nothing †

♥ Final Collge Christmas Party ♥

† Again... Welcome to Deathdom †

† The Beginning and End of Nothing †

♥ Hyundai Christmas Party... =] ♥

♥ Why? ♥

EmoFuck Part II - The Story of the Rocker Wannabee inside the Bus

♥ I LAB POTTIE ♥

PhotoCLASS + Holden BEERday

The Rebellion Fiasco - God Bless the Philippines

♥ My New Site for Internet Marketing ♥

† Maybe This Is Why I Work Too Hard... †

♥ Food Overload and Major Overtime ♥

Some Quiz About My Major

♥ Who would've thought!? ♥

♥ I Don't Know... ♥

♥ When It Just Starts To Kill Me ♥

♥ I Hate People In Love ♥

♥ Updates on My Site ♥

♥ I Don't Care. I Have Plans.

♥ Dorm Farewell

♥ Photoday @ DLSU-D

The Masters of Photography

People here and there

♥ Life Bitched Around Again

♥ xxkimi photography

♥ In Love Again

♥ Life's Not Just A Bitch... Life Just Raped Me

♥ Okay I'm A Little Fine Now †

♥ Life's A Bitch ††

† ♥My Brother's Keeper♥ †

♥ Let's Play Poker ♥

† Here Comes More †

† Take A Break... Waste Time †

† Commercial Filming †

† Back to Basic Cramming †

† Digital Art Attempts!! =]] †

† Midterm Week + Rain = Loneliness †

† Boreness Deathdom Project Suffocation †

† A Tale †

† Trouble My Mind Much More †

† Raining Raining ~ I'm Happy †

† There I Go *p0o0of* and Die †

† Everything Is A Game †

† Doing The Best Is Never the Best †

† Sucker Love †

† Yeah Bebe... †

† Destroying Myself †

† Strategic Marketing †

† Growing Into Our Skin †

† The 1st Boring Regada †

† For I Am the Queen of the Geeks †

† And Again... School †

♥ Life's A Bitch ††

† There I Go p0o0of and Die †